Moments of truth – The man of God that wouldn’t become my husband

I was talking to a close friend over the weekend and she was sharing something that didn’t sit well with her with regards someone she was looking to enter a committed relationship with. So what was happening was she’ll complain about the thing that irks her and then she’ll say ‘but he’s an amazing christian, born again, fervent and all‘, and I would literally have a mini eye-roll, like ‘can you choose your side please’, lol!

Anyways, I’ve written about something similar previously here, but it occurred to me that young christian girls are more willing to ‘settle’ when a young man is godly and said to be ‘tongue speaking’ and it is funny because the best of us have probably been through this phase.

I think it was about 4-5 years ago now, I had met this man through a friend, and our connection was more mentor-mentee, until we actually met and I can tell we both had a ‘woah, he’s/she’s so young internal thought‘, but neither of us voiced it out. Our platonic, professional relationship kind of changed a bit after the meeting when I noticed he started to request me out, invited me to his church, a picnic another time and then one of their mid-week services another time.

He was an unmarried leader in his church so when I even visited the church, I could see and feel stares my way all the time, I even had about 3 women on 2 of the occasions actually walk up to me to question my relationship with him. I mean, they were really digging and it was funny cause there was nothing to dig, in my mind, this man had the know-how and skill to help me at that particular point in my life so I was not even aware of any other ulterior motive if he even had any.

Because of how often I had been around his church community, I picked several perceptions about him. He was a good christian, he was born again and he definitely spoke in tongues. While those things are really bare minimum, I thought it was impressive that a man like him in this day and time was so fervent for God.

Skip to a month later, he was definitely checking up on me more than usual, asking to meet and always at his church events and I would oblige if I was free cause truth be told, his church community was one you could easily sense that God was present, so I loved the atmosphere.

Then suddenly, I started having strange dreams about this man, I remember the first one, I dismissed it as ‘the devil is trying to taint this mans image in my head‘, then the second came, I still found myself praying against the devils sabotage of his image and then the third came and then it hit me that I was playing with fire associating myself with this man or accepting any request to date him, which is what I now saw coming.

The dreams were always so short, but so clear and precise and interpretations would come immediately after, I even still have them saved on the notes in my phone and some days I read them and still shiver.

My point is this, that someone says they are a christian and you even see evidence does not automatically qualify them to be a God-ordained partner for you. There’s so much beyond the physical that we cannot see and only through discernment is the Holy spirit able to open us up to those hidden things. The dreams are also not indications that the person might be bad or evil, it might just be God saying ‘this one is not for you’.

I think it takes a level of wisdom to see beyond just a claim to be a born-again christian. The bible says that ‘by their fruits you shall know them’, but you need to understand that the named guy up there was even showing the fruits of the spirit but even at that, I was still having strange dreams that revealed strange behaviours in him to me.

Beyond what you see and what you hear, make sure you also have a confirmation from your inner witness. i’m convinced that this is what matters the most.

I wanna hear your experiences, have you ever encountered the assistant Jesus’s and found out something scary later?

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6 thoughts on “Moments of truth – The man of God that wouldn’t become my husband

  1. Odunowo Olufunmilayo says:

    I know I always comment on your articles but I can’t help myself. If anything, your articles are always timely. I was speaking to a friend about this today and I’ll definitely be sharing this with her.
    I haven’t had a situation like this before but I would like to confirm what you said about not seeing just the fruits of the spirit in them but also their inner witness. Thank you ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fochwoman says:

      Funmi please, I genuinely really enjoy reading your comments, so don’t ever be deterred posting them in the name of ‘always commenting on the posts’. I am super glad that it has come in season and i’m also happy to know you also agree on my stance when it comes to this issue.

      May God continue to shine more light in our hearts xx
      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  2. IbeBlessing says:

    I can completely relate to this although mine had a little twist. I was a young believer then who was so focused on making sure I’m in a relationship with a godly man(which wasn’t a bad thing). The problem was how I ignored all other aspect of him that flung red flags, simply because he had zeal for God. I erroneously supposed that being a child of God will substitute for his behavioural, intellectual , emotional and mental deficiencies. At that time, I was still new to the process of discovering and understanding my value and my place in God so, I felt I was the problem. I just wanted to settle since after all, “godly men were scarce” as people said. I was in that relationship for over 3 years until I received sense. I understood that the tag ‘man of God’ is not an automatic ‘He’s my husband’.

    Like

  3. IbeBlessing says:

    I can completely relate to this although mine had a little twist. I was a young believer then who was so focused on making sure I’m in a relationship with a godly man(which wasn’t a bad thing). The problem was how I ignored all other aspect of him that flung red flags, simply because he had zeal for God. I erroneously supposed that being a child of God will substitute for his behavioural, intellectual , emotional and mental deficiencies. At that time, I was still new to the process of discovering and understanding my value and my place in God so, I felt I was the problem. I just wanted to settle since after all, “godly men were scarce” as people said. I was in that relationship for over 3 years until I received sense. I understood that the tag ‘man of God’ is not an automatic ‘He’s my husband’.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fochwoman says:

      I love this, the way you summarised it is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing, and thank God for giving sense lool. Indeed ‘man of God’ does not in any way translate to ‘He is my husband.’ May God open us to more truth. Thanks so much for engaging xx

      Liked by 1 person

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