Last week, I got away from home to camp. I knew very well that it was not going to be all rosy and comfortable, but I think I needed the discomfort. To think clearer and also meet new people.
I did not go with a lot of expectations and that went a long way in helping me accept things as they came and learning without complain.
I can truthfully say it was a beautiful experience. There were several occurrences that took place that gave me hours of staying awake thinking, and I do not take that for granted.
Best part? No phones were allowed. So I actually had zero distraction and maximum concentration when I sat to think.
One of the highlights would be my conversation with one of the most beautiful girls on camp. I had seen her severally because she was in my platoon and I had thought to myself how beautiful she was, until about the second day when a mutual friend introduced us together. We moved from being just platoon members to being acquaintances.
We got talking and started to hang out even more seeing that we were both in the same platoon and over one conversation at dinner, one thing led to another and she began to share some of her insecurities of which she was working on.
I sat there in amazement as she opened her mouth and actually said ‘I was insecure about the way I looked and just didn’t think I was as pretty as other girls’ and on and on.
I couldn’t believe I had just heard what I heard, because like I said earlier, my first thoughts on setting my eyes on her were all relating to how beautiful I thought she was.
I was scared to make a comment when she was done talking because I did not want my words to come out as trying to patronise her or just make her feel better for how she may feel about herself, at the same time, I needed this beautiful girl to know how pretty she was.
So I sat there, in 5 minutes, debating on what to say and how to bring it out.
At the end of my 5 minutes, there was no way else to put it, she was beautiful and she had to know it. I was not sure what her definition of beauty was but I can bet you that every one that laid eyes on her would call her beautiful. I just could not understand how she could not see this for herself.
I got to my room that evening and I got thinking about the highlights of my day, and this conversation stole the moment as I pondered strongly how she alone couldn’t see how blessed she was.
2 other points in the conversation stood out.
First of all, there was comparison and secondly, there was other people’s voices.
She kept saying ‘not as pretty as…’, and I figured that if you held something in your head to be the definition of what you’re trying to be, no matter how close you come in physical look, it would just never be the same, because the person is just who they are and you on the other hand are who you are.
Comparison had blocked her from seeing how she had been blessed and she had given power to some voices around her that echoed all the things she was not suppose to hear. The ones who called her ‘the less prettier sister’ or said she could have looked better if she had been fairer.
Voices that really should not have been allowed to cross her thoughts twice. In all, I learnt to embrace the little things I thought were flawed and figured that I was the best me there could be. I didn’t want someone to sit appreciating something on me that I was blind to see because of my inability to guard myself and my ears.
I’m still not sure what to say to conclude this but I just need you to know that you’re actually perfect just the way you are. Whether or not you hear it is immaterial. Just know it in your head and that should be sufficient for you.