Moments of Truth ; Self aside, Personality aside

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I saw early on that one of the weaknesses of my personality independently, is the need to understand everything, especially if it has logical elements, I always feel a need to understand why certain decisions were made up to the final stage. In submitting to the Holy Spirit (which is still in process), I saw He began to change this, He started teaching me that “sometimes, there won’t be sufficient explanation or logic behind something, but I still need to obey or comply as the case might be”.

My brain still interprets this as violation sometimes, but most times, if I sense the lead of the Holy Spirit to Just let it be, I ignore even myself and trust that even without me understanding it all, God will be God.
It’s part of that breaking process, part of God saving you from your own self so that you’re totally surrendered because in a pursuit of understanding something one day, I might be going against the plan or desire of the Spirit of God and in such a time, what it means is me standing in opposition to God which is somewhere I never want to get to.

So these days, when things I don’t fully get come around and I so badly want to understand it completely and I hear the nudge or words of Holy Spirit within me, I refrain, it’s so painful and uncomfortable but with each lesson, it gets easier.
God is breaking my so called personality to one totally yielded to Him.

And that’s same for each and everyone of us, for some, he might be pushing you to even ask more questions, while for others like me, were being pruned to not ask all questions till We completely understand.

Check out the last Moments of truth post.

Dealing with fear

From the blog-post ‘Do it Afraid’, I finished it with this sentence ;

“Don’t do it afraid. Deal with the fear, then do it.”

A meticulous friend of mine brought it to my attention that it might be worth breaking down what ‘Dealing with fear’ is, because logically reading that, it probably makes sense to most of us, but do we actually know what it means or what it takes to deal with fear?

Fear is no respecter of person or position as you might have discovered, it is also very sneaky and can crawl up on you without you even realising it is there, till you trace your actions backwards and realise that some of the steps taken were taken in fear.

There’s another twisted part of fear, it actually gives its own motivation, but it’s motivation is usually to take the more familiar or easy way because you can tell it’s outcome which really isn’t advisable for people committed to living and walking by the Spirit of God because most times, the Spirit of God will call us to the unknown and the daunting but expects us to step out in faith knowing Who has called us.

Below, I’ve highlighted 5 ways of dealing with fear, not in any particular order but depending on situation. I also want to first highlight that fear is Never of God, it is not in God’s nature to make us fearful or timid. His word says ‘For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.’ – 2 Timothy 1:7.

This verse makes it clear that fear is not a package that God comes with and so we should be intentional about dealing with it.

  1. Don’t deny it, confront it – We’re human with histories and backgrounds, sometimes fears have grown from things we’ve experienced or heard. Some people are terrified of travelling by air because of plane crash news, some are terrified of eating fish today because in their childhood, they almost choked to death by a fish bone, and I myself use to be terrified of Married men as I shared in a recent blog-post because of my past. Some of these fears have been fed by occurrences in our past and God doesn’t want us to deny them but confront them with prayer and His word which is truth. When we begin to see that ‘God has a plan for us and has given his angels command to keep charge over us’, we won’t be scared of transportation or death even, because lets even say death does meet us there, at least there’s the joy of going home. When I also saw that Married men are never the problem and they are not out to get me, that fear dissipated. God is with me and watches me wherever I go, automatically I cease to fear whatever is man made or caused. We need to find The truth of God that liberates us from the fears we have.
  2. Sometimes do exactly what seems to scare you – By personal experience, I also discovered that the devil uses fear to keep us from God’s promises. Using just a home example, there were numerous times when I allowed fear stop me from asking my Mum or Dad for things and I suffered in whatever situation I was because fear crippled me and when I did gather the courage to ask, the way they even received the request showed that they would’ve granted it whenever I had asked but I allowed fear stop me from even making the move to ask. Sometimes spiritually too, God calls us to people, places and things and fear stops us from launching out, but we have to be bold enough to trust the Word of God.
  3. Something has to be growing, so feed faith – Something is always growing within you. It is either your faith or fear, so make it intentional always to be growing your faith by exposing yourself to the Word of God. Why? “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” – Romans 10:17. When we feed our faith by seeing God’s work in the life of others, fear fades out because it has met with something more powerful than it, so please, spend some time in your bible.
  4. Talk to people about what’s causing fear – I had a friend who feared failing in school, the fear so overwhelmed her that when it was time to read, she was more afraid that she wouldn’t remember what she was reading than she was that she will actually write and pass. In sharing this fear with me, I always kept her accountable, encouraging her with words of success and also praying with her about the fear. Sometimes when we share fears with people, we lessen its power over us. Fear also takes the facade of guilt and shame sometimes, when you do something, because no one is aware, you move the rest of your life in fear just hoping no one finds out. In sharing that with someone able to handle it maturely and pray with you, you dismantle the power of guilt and shame in that fear, so sometimes, God might lead us to deal with our fears by sharing them with people. Confession has so much power, don’t ever let fear stop you from confessing.
  5. Ultimately, remember whose you are before even who you are – A major trick I’ve used in my christian journey is realising that I am empowered and backed up by God. My life is not normal or ordinary by the fact that the Holy Spirit lives within me. I think we Christians forget this sometimes, because you can’t have the power that spoke creation into existence inside of you and still be running away from cockroaches (By the way i’m so guilty of this, i’m not a fan of insects at all). But hey, it is something we must daily remind ourselves of. That, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” – 1 John 4:4

If we’re intentional about these practical steps of dealing with fear, we’ll be more sensitive to recognise it when it comes around even.

So remember, “Don’t do it afraid. Deal with the fear, then do it.”

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How do I live above temptations?

This is a follow up blog post from the last one, where I spoke about a conversation I had with a friend. The question asked was ‘How do I live above temptations and stay spiritually grounded?’

This was my response to her, only with subheadings now and I hope it impacts you as well.

1) Talk to God about them : It is always worth talking to God about our temptations, I’m not even saying praying “oh God help me not to fall into temptation”, I mean like mentioning whatever they are and telling God to help you live above them, determination is never enough for the human flesh, our human flesh bows to our temptations no matter the level of determination we have, so it’s more of a spiritual thing, if we’re empowered in the spirit, it also helps us physically. So mention the temptations to God

2) Set times for Bible study and Prayer : Have a set time for bible study and prayer, whether first thing in the morning or after work when you get home, but the more frequent and exact it is, the more you’ll look forward to it.
We can’t downplay the importance of bible study if we want to walk in step with the Spirit of God, I don’t know how often you read the bible and pray right now, but I advice making it more frequently and at a Particular time.
If God gets used to hearing your voice in that time, He’ll always be ready for you when you appear before Him in that time.

3) Be mindful of your association : I learnt this one late even and it’s the most practical of all the steps, you have to be mindful of your association and the people around you.
As Odeshi as we think we are to peer pressure, it sips into our subconscious and we actually find ourselves compromising in areas we used to be determined before.
So have people who will actually push your spiritual walk with God and not demean it.
The right people around you bring out the good things in you.
If you’re exposed too much to someone who encourages your temptation, you’ll keep falling

4) Find Hobbies that keep you occupied : Find hobbies and things that’ll keep your mind from being idle, I don’t know what you enjoy asides your daily job, but I think it’s worth picking up a few hobbies that’ll keep you occupied.
For me it’s reading and writing. And it helps so much because asides the time I actually leave out for meditation, I hardly have “free” time.
It’s usually in free times that our temptations jump on us, so we can minimise that occurrence by giving ourselves to more beneficial things, so start exploring your hobbies and see what you can pick up.
And don’t let the hobbies be watching TV please lol

5) Remember always that Jesus has been in same shoes : Finally, it always helps when we remember that the bible says that “we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet he did not sin”, because the same way we are tempted is the same way He was tempted and He still overcame. So if human like us, He overcame, we also can.
When you’re at those low points, just make a mental note to God and ask Him how He would’ve treated such a situation if He was in same temptation and God will answer.
He always speaks, and I find that He’s most happy when we’re honest and open about our temptations and struggles.

It is an inexhaustible list as I said to her, but these are starting points.

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Are our bible plans really enough?

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This post will probably not apply to every single one of us, some of us might even have an opposing view, so here’s stating in advance how subjective this is and my advice to any growing Christian like myself.

I had a conversation with a young woman a couple of days ago, she had decided she wanted to grow spiritually and live above temptations and she reached out to me on advice and ‘top tips’, as she put it.

I will share another blog post after this because I realised after typing out my response that it might be beneficial to someone else. In one of the points I gave to her, I spoke on how important bible study is in the life of anyone desiring to grow spiritually, and I explained that the Bible is that revealed word that gives us insight into the mind of God. And so, it’s importance cannot be overemphasised.

She agreed with me on these points and went further to share struggles with bible reading, asking how she can study the bible effectively and actually learn things and receive rhema and we got into the whole conversation of Bible plans on bible apps and even devotionals.

I completely understood where she was coming from in saying that she didn’t feel she learnt a lot in devotionals and bible plans, she said she usually gets the main message and sometimes it does linger in her heart for a period of time, but she’s not sure how much growth that brings her spiritually and I told her that I honestly agreed with her and shared how God taught me to read the bible, which I will also share in an upcoming blog-post.

There’s something called rhema in Christianity and I see rhema as the revelation of Gods word to a specific individual. When a human being receives an understanding of Gods word on a very personal level, that is rhema and logos might be word revealed to you by another human or through various agents, which also might bring rhema subsequently.

But I’ve come to see that there is nothing as beautiful as receiving rhema from God, if all our christian life, we live feeding on the rhema of others, including our Pastors, Bible school teachers and other ‘spiritual’ friends, how do we now grow to actually hearing God for ourselves and receiving that rhema?

I have nothing against bible plans and devotionals but they have never been the primary source of my bible study, I’ve received more from God by picking up my bible directly and reading and allowing the Spirit of God speak to my Spirit. The revelation your Pastor brings to you, might not be the same revelation you receive from God reading the same story by yourself, and this won’t be contrary words, it would just be from another angle that is more suited to the place you are in your life.

This is why we must push past logos to rhema word, and why I advise growing Christians to study the actual bible, even while doing bible plans and using devotionals.

God always wants to reach us at a personal level, not collectively or in pairs, but just Him and you, but how can that happen if we receive His word from other people and never from Him?

Bible plans and devotionals are awesome, for some people, it would even be the stepping stone to actual Bible studying and for that, I highly recommend it, but don’t ever limit your spiritual growth and communication with God to what you read in bible plans and devotionals. God has more beyond what He has revealed to someone.

Hence why after church on Sunday and after group bible study, it is not enough to remain excited in the message you received, rather, go home and further study and get the whole loaf rather than just the crumbs that got you excited.

The Oprah’s and the Ruth’s

It’s really amazing how Ruth made it to having a book named after her in the bible, I have nothing against her but I’ve just always wondered the criteria used to decide how books were named because if it was a show of strength and resilience, Deborah should’ve come first, if it was by leadership and devotion to God, Miriam would’ve come first and if it was by mere obedience and trust, Sarah, Abraham’s wife should’ve come first, not in any way demeaning the amazing strengths and characters displayed by Ruth really.

Another named woman in that book is Orpah, we seem to only remember Ruth and Naomi in discussions over the book the Ruth and most times people speak like Orpah was the disloyal one who left her mother-in-law to go back to her country.

Heroic Ruth decided to stick with her even to death and the place Naomi was going to be buried.
It’s also weird we hear nothing again of Orpah after this scene, and my thoughts as I meditated on this was that God had destined the root of Jesus to come through Ruth.

I want us to remember that Naomi had called both daughter-in-laws to honestly advise them to go back to their countries because she had lost everything and was also returning to her country. Remember she even said that “even if I did marry again and bare children, would you both wait till they were grown to marry them?”. She saw that these girls were both young and could still make much of their lives if they returned home.

After a little back and forth, the bible says that Orpah then kissed her and went, this kills every argument of Orpah being disrespectful because all she’d done was reason and see that Naomi spoke truth and her conviction led her to leave to go back home.
Ruth on the other hand was convicted to remain with Naomi no matter what! For her it was a do or die affair and this was her own conviction.

We can’t judge people’s conviction on the basis of how we see it because a conviction is what it is, a personal resolution that is come from deep within a person. For us as Christians now, the Holy Spirit will usually convict us on various things in our lives, can we say that same Holy Spirit convicted both Ruth and Orpah?
Maybe not, because Christ hadn’t come yet and neither had He sent His spirit to dwell in His children.
But as we’ve always seen, God has always made provision for keeping His children in step with Him, sometimes it’s the conscience, those days it was the law and prophets and today were in that era of the Holy Spirit, so Ruth and Oprah’s convictions emanated from somewhere which my spirit tells me was pure.

Now, thinking on the flip side to when they did get to Naomi’s home in Bethlehem, how many women was Boaz going to marry? If Orpah had followed back too, do we see that there could’ve been some levels of conflict and issues over which one of them Boaz would redeem?, seeing that both of them might have been sent to glean in His field as well. God purposed Boaz to end up with Ruth and if that purpose was manifested in the conviction of Orpah by leading her to go back to her home, I see obedience and trust, rather than disloyalty and fear.

This morning I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that some are Orpah’s and some are Ruth’s, sometimes your conviction will lead you to go and other times it might be to stay, what matters in both occurrences is your obedience.
We can’t interpret the absence of Orpah’s name in the bible after that chapter to mean that she did something wrong and was removed, it could just be that it is Ruth’s life, which we still read about that God was bringing someone out from, which is the Messiah.
Note however that not everything is recorded in the bible and sometimes the Holy Spirit gives insight to what might have happened that wasn’t recorded.

The point in this post is to be sensitive to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, don’t think of the “best ideal option” and stick with it, just be open to whatever option He might lead you to, even if it is going home as in the case of Orpah.
God isn’t judging you against anyone else, however similar your situation might have been, He’s looking at your obedience to Him in any and every situation.
So please drop the expectation and desires of others over your life, or better still, subject those expectations and desires to the spirit of God so He can sieve and filter through them.

Your obedience will always come first before the thought of any human or even yourself. We read Orpah’s actions sometimes as disrespectful and disloyal, but for all we know, it could’ve been her own conviction which stands tall even in the mirror of Ruth’s conviction to continue with Naomi.

I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable knowing that you might be an Orpah and not a Ruth because you’re just as awesome x

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‘Do it afraid’…

There’s a popular saying to ‘do it afraid’, it is very widely accepted amongst people who just want to push and encourage you to do whatever it is you want to set out to do. More often than not, it comes from a place of pure intentions and I think the Subject also gets the message however, is it right to actually ‘Do it afraid?’ it is biblical to do it afraid?

Setting out to start anything new is daunting, it’s never really a walk in the park because most times, there are levels of uncertainty.

I wanted to take our minds back to the time when God called Abraham to leave his fathers country and people and ‘go to the land which He (God) will show him’, I don’t know if I’ve ever come across a more daunting and adventurous command like this. What makes it all the more scary is how he was the first man God spoke to after Adam as recorded in the bible, so Abraham really did not have anyone to run this by, he couldn’t say, “I’ll have a meeting with so and so to get an opinion and weigh my options”, he literally picked up His things and ‘Went’, as the bible records.

My Spirit tells me that Abraham moved fearlessly and in boldness that God said what He said, at that point, he was not even considering all the ‘might happens’ or ‘could happens’, he had firmly set himself up in the word that God had spoken to him and he moved. I began to ask myself what it would have looked like if Abraham ‘did it afraid’, I reckoned that he would have made plan B’s, advised the people staying back that he would return later and maybe even gone without Sarah to see first if God delivers before dragging her into it.

He would not have obeyed to the degree he did if he was moving in fear. Whether or not we are conscious of it, when we do things in fear, we leave a small room of doubt within us, a small room of ‘what if’, a small room of ‘just in case this doesn’t work’ and this small room left is now manifested in our execution of whatever it is we’re out to do.

The results of a totally surrendered and trusting heart will always exceed that of the heart doing it in fear.

I honestly get the motivation in the advise to ‘do it afraid’ but today, God challenged me as I thought it to myself and I felt convicted to also encourage us never to do anything afraid. Deal with the fear and then move, so that your move is in full surrender to whatever God has called you to. Part of dealing with fear is confronting those things that actually bring the fear one by one if possible and telling them through your confessions and actions that the God who called you to whatever is bigger!.

Here’s another caveat, do you realise we move in fear when we aren’t even certain if God has called us? when there’s no certainty of God’s call to us on something, that’s another space left for fear to leverage on. Let’s walk and move in step with the Spirit of God. We either trust completely or not at all.

Don’t do it afraid. Deal with the fear, then do it.

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Rib yet to find its cage and Rib sitting in its cage alike.

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The above message was broadcast and a few responses came back from women alike who didn’t completely agree with the post and had other opinions that strongly negated the point stated in the message above, however, I personally feel like the responses given showed that the recipients missed the point of the post.

I got talking with a Pastor who fortunately happens to be my friend as well and he had amazing words of wisdom which I thought was definitely worth sharing, so please be blessed and read with eyes of the Spirit and not that of your natural self.

“The woman is blessed and has been endowed to influence, support, and aid her man, yet submit to his leadership.

Through what mechanism?

Several of them. But one very crucial one is ‘speaking’, ‘use of Words’

Look back at the post “Fewer things soothe a man’s heart more than knowing the woman he loves can SPEAK to him in a time, and with WORDS, that can…”

The law of kindness on a person’s lips is attractive. See this – one of the strengths of the Virtuous woman…

Proverbs 31:26 KJV
She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the LAW OF KINDNESS.

The way a woman speaks to her husband, and the content of her speech reveals so much about her understanding of her place in that man’s life and that has a huge impact on the man’s life and destiny. I wish we could ask John Wesley more, He’s an anointed man who married quite a woman! Also, Little wonder Pastor Chris Delvan (Also an anointed Man of God) would say, when a godly woman meets her man, she just realises that submission is ‘easy’.

Even unbelievers know this. When pastor Adeboye married Pastor Folu, they both weren’t believers, we can’t say God spoke to him but I’m certain one of the qualities he saw in her was kindness on her lips. Soothing words! (At least we know she has consistently had a good report in this regard) Little wonder he could soar this high.

Oh God bless us in this manner!

A woman can know more about her role in a man’s life if she sits to learn some things about the Holy Spirit in a believer’s life. Of course she is not the Holy Spirit, but both roles resonate in a manner- in that they both help, sooth, inspire, aid etc. How does the Holy Spirit speak to us? how forceful is he? How inspiring, soothing and supportive are his words to us?

The mechanism of speaking and use of Words would remain a game changer in any marriage or relationship, and more so for both parties. In the context of this piece, man’s help-meet can maximise this; and even do this in a manner that is pure, submissive, joyful, and not controlling or forceful.

The Hebrew word for kindness as in Proverbs 31:26 is ‘chesed’ and it means (Strong’s definition): kindness ; by implication (towards God) piety ; rarely reproof (by opprobrium), or (subjectively) beauty: favour, good deed, kindly, merciful (kindness).

Maybe the use of ‘correct his course’ and ‘re-direct his soul’ (as per the screenshot above) might be quite weighty phrases to have been used (and could be misleading) but the point is clear, a woman’s words have an unimaginable impact on her man, positively or negatively as the case may be; and she can choose the law of kindness on her lips!

Of course this piece does not exclude the man from the need to bless his wife with well-spoken words; but it is in direct response to the text in question, ” – Pastor Emmanuel

The entire response were his thoughts and I couldn’t agree more. I pray God gives every woman the wisdom and words to be the complete meet to the need she’s been placed in a mans life.

Down and Out? Not yet!

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Kelechi Nwankpa

There’s a story in the new testament that got very little scene time, but it’s captures a great truth nonetheless .

Paul stopped by a house in a town called Troas, to break bread with fellow believers, as is his customary style. He went on and on, unveiling deep truths, and there was a man named Eutychus seated at the window on the third floor, who decided to practice “deep meditation” as Paul spoke. Can you imagine?

Paul, the man who was whisked into the third heavens, and shown great mysteries which couldn’t be known to man, someone would sleep at his sermon. Nah, sleeping in church didn’t just start today, you’re in good hands, lol. This man fell off the window to the ground during his “deep meditation” and probably died. Paul comes down, lays hands on him, embraces this man, and assures everyone that he’s alive!

Have you had or known someone who has had similar experiences to Eutychus? Despite the availability of the word and light all around, we still fall into one unhealthy habit or the other, still living below the glory mark God has set for us, still being trapped by labels all over social media. Could we be like Paul, going down to the level of one another and administering words of life? Could we be like Paul that calls forth light out of the supposed darkness? Could we be like Paul who wouldn’t be pressured to speak out of faith?

 

To write or not to write?

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Chukwuemeka Nwagboso

Growing up, my dad always hammered the purpose of writing things down. He said that whatever you have in mind, be it Plans, a thought or ideas, always put them down on paper. My dad didn’t just tell us to do it, he showed us. He had a book specially for plans of the day, he had a book for work, he had a book for building plans, he even had a book for his children. He literally gave us books and said “always write things, do not carry anything in your head because if you do, you will forget it “.

Why should you write things down?

When you write things down it helps you pen down your thoughts on a piece of paper. Sometimes amazing ideas might come into our heads or even God might be talking to us, and if we refuse to write this down, we might end up losing this thought in our heads forever. Writing things down helps us to assess information later. How many times have you thought of the groceries you need to get from Tesco, only to go there and come back realising you actually forgot something? This is a clear example that no matter how smart or brilliant one could be the mind can’t retain every thought of ours.

Another reason why we should write things down is because it could be beneficial to other people. If those men inspired by God didn’t write down the accounts of God, the Bible we all read today will not be available to us. Also, this account would have died in the minds of the inspired men of God. Exodus 17: 14 says – “The Lord said unto Moses, write this for a memorial in a book, and rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven”.
That verse takes me to my final point on why we need to write things down. Finally, we need to write things for remembrance/ reference. The Bible in Isaiah 30: 8 says- “Now go, write it before them on a tablet, and note it on a scroll, that it may be for time to come, forever and ever”. This verse tells us simply that He wants us to write things down and what we write down could last the test of time. In the Bible, David talked about how he understood the Lord in writing (Read 1 Chronicles 28:19)

Remember earlier when I talked about God talking to us and if we refuse to write it down, we might forget it. The book of Habakkuk 2:2 clearly explains this point. Personally, I like how one version puts it. It says: “And then God answered; Write this, write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run”. Another version says; “And the Lord answered me, and said, write the vision, and make it plain upon tablets, that he may run who reads it”. I advise that you use whichever version that speaks to you more. Jeremiah 30:2 says “Thus speaks the Lord God of Israel, saying: ‘Write in a book for yourself all the words that I have spoken to you’.

I didn’t usually like writing things down but I have learnt its importance. I looked at myself when I hardly put things down and I realised some of the mistakes I made. I am writing all this down because at the closing of church today (March 10, 2019) the Holy spirit said to put this down. Though I don’t like writing but I saw this as a test. I have combined my writing with a little bit of research. I told myself I wouldn’t be distracted with any other thing tonight until I finish this write up.

God Bless You!!!

Pastors Wife?

I had the best weekend, I really hope you can say same and if not, let’s forget the past and prepare for this coming week, with all its opportunities as well as blessings.

A key highlight for me was the IWP Hangout where we got to talk a lot on the struggles of the 21st century woman and looked at biblical examples on tackling each and everyone of them with the help of the Holy Spirit (I would share highlights from the event soon). While one girl was speaking at the event, she out rightly said “I cannot marry a pastor, I know the grace God has placed on me and being a Pastors’s wife (PW) is not within the jurisdiction of that grace”. It was all fun and banter till this evening, a day later, a friend I sat with who was also present at the hangout randomly asked me what is wrong with being a ‘PW’, I didn’t even understand till she said ‘Pastor’s wife’ and I literally took 10 seconds to laugh before I could put myself together to respond, not like I even had the answer.

So I asked her if it was because of the comment made yesterday and she responded in the affirmative, reminding me by the side that we need to be careful of what we say in public and even at the reaction we give to things because people who don’t know better might take your personal sentiment and judge a whole situation by that.

My answer was just that ‘it comes with its own responsibility’ but the responsibility is not something you can’t deal with once God’s Spirit has walked with you into that marriage with the Pastor. She wasn’t clear on the responsibilities so I shared what I think I had observed and also what I had heard from my own Pastor’s wife (who is my Second mummy), and the things included, being patient enough with the number of people all over your husband (Pastor) because of the office he occupies, your responsibility to the people in your church, both men and women alike, your responsibility to be prepared for visitations and emergencies at any point in time really.

These and a host of other things I think characterise the life of a PW, but I thought more and realised that any wife of a minister of God might have similar responsibilities, so I kept asking the Holy Spirit, why really young girls don’t want to end up as Pastor’s wife and I was reminded of a message I listened to by Apostle Joshua Selman where He spoke on ‘The tripartite nature of the woman’ and towards the end of that sermon, he was admonishing women to be serious and fervent about their spiritual walk with God, then he added further that ‘if on top of being a woman, you marry a Man of God (I reckon he was referring to a Pastor), you must even be double because the responsibility is much’. I’ve paraphrased the last part but this was the main message.

Every woman of God has a responsibility to her husband, her family and her community at large, I don’t think that changes much for a woman of God married to a Pastor, only that you also have a responsibility to the congregation your Husband pastors, not in the fact that you live to please them, but that you live to show them love as the wife of the shepherd that God has placed them under.

I really don’t have a personal opinion on this because truthfully, I like a private relational life, especially when I get married, I don’t know if being a PW stands in the way of this but the conclusion remains the same, that wherever God has called you to, He has released grace for you to also go and excel.

Let’s stop the sentimental jokes around Pastor’s wives, I think they’re doing awesomely well, and please don’t interpret my advocacy for them as a sure sign that i’ll be one. because here’s the irony of life, how many Pastor’s wives really knew that ‘My husband will be a Pastor one day’ when they were getting married? while some were fortunate to already see it before they walked into marriage, some met the anointing and instruction while in marriage, so, You there, Yes you, running away from Pastors, just know that God has a funny sense of humour! I’m a living witness to that!

pastors wife