The Best Love Story

There is an unpopular thought that the bible can be summarised to be A story of A Father who seeks a Bride for His Son.

It’s mostly unpopular because some people consider it blasphemous and others just can’t handle reducing the potency of that book to this cheesy summary.

But in my years of reading and feasting on this Bible, daily, my eyes are open to see the truth in the summary described above. My Spirit is also completely at peace writing this and I even felt a gentle nudge to blog about it and maybe open your eyes to those yet to see it this way, or those who’ve completely misunderstood it.

We know already that a summary is a concise, filtered excerpt of a larger text that attempts to present the main points in the text. In Academia, most times, depending on the length of the text, you’ll be told how long the summary will need to be and in all my years of writing summaries in academia, I’ve never had a summary of less than 40 words despite the fact that the text given to be summarised was never greater that two A4 pages.

So it is a wonder that were able to summarise the bible, with all its books, chapters and verses to just 12 words. Haha! I need not remind you of how significant 12 is in the bible. This might or might not be correlated but it got me excited!

God came, created a perfect world, placed His perfect creatures in His presence with divine laws and instructions. The devil deceived His highest creature into believing that they were deceived of God and they believed and fell and sin came into the world.

It went downhill from there. Sin made God’s highest creature a slave. They became self sufficient and forgot their creator.

The best Lover was pained, it was an interruption to His plan, not a termination of it, so in His omniscience, He decided to send help, send an atonement, send New Life. So of everyone to send, He decided ‘My Son’.

So He sent Jesus, who came and died to save you and I.

The Love story Began.

Sending Jesus was really a risk. There was no certainty that we would accept it, neither was there a hint of assurance that we will give our lives to HIM. But as love always does, hopes and believes the best, He still came and died. Without any collateral. Anything to hold on to.

Daily, God is seeking out brides who’ll come to His son.

No, He’s not a polygamist. He is a family man, A husband (Jesus) and His Wife (The Church). It’s not much of a shock why the bible relates the institution of marriage to the relationship between Jesus and the Church, It also admonishes A man to Love His wife as Christ Loves the church and the wife to submit to her husband as The church submits to Christ.

It’s the best Love Triangle!

When next you’re reading the bible, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to this pattern. To see how daily The Father(God) seeks A Bride (You) for His Son (Jesus).

Oh, what a delight it is to be THE BRIDE OF CHRIST!

Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear. – Revelation 19 : 7-8

the best lovestory!

Idol Worshippers like us

As soon as I gave my life to Christ and knew that God had a plan and purpose for my life, the only thing I concerned myself with, was getting to know that plan and purpose.

This desire in me was so great to the point where it exceeded my desire to even sit at the  feet of Jesus and learn. This was really funny because while God really wanted me to know and work in that purpose, He was not going to reveal it to me at the expense of my soul and my relationship with Him, so I think He was rather breaking that strong desire to know purpose over learning Him.

He revealed to me the idol I had created in the quest for my purpose. I felt hurt and cheated but I realised that it is a common error Christians always  fall into, might not be one of purpose, but when we have a desire to do something for God to the point where it exceeds our desire to allow God do through us.

From this short story, I need you to see how easily something or someone can become an idol. It does not have to be a carved image or glittery object. All it has to do is to take the place of God in your life to be seen as an idol according to heaven.

I was reading a book once by Gbile Akanni, He was writing about Abraham and Isaac and He opened my eyes to see that in getting Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, God was also weaning Abraham from Isaac.

After waiting the number of years Abraham waited for the promise, it was easy to idolise Isaac as soon as He came but to Abraham, it might have seemed like he was merely ‘treasuring that which God had given him’, but God saw his heart, God saw where He was placed and where Abraham had placed Isaac and so, beyond the numerous lessons we get from that story, it also teaches us one of weaning. How God dethrones the things and people we enthrone above Him in our hearts.

Theologians, philosophers and scientists daily make discoveries that remind us that the human man naturally, is an idol worshipper.

We were created with a void that science always tries to explain to mean something else but really is one only the creator can fill. As a result of this void, were daily searching out what or who to fill it and as such, we make idols out of things, people, desires and plans and we don’t even realise we’re doing this until we get to dead ends and realise that ‘This thing/This person has not really satisfied me’.

Idol worship doesn’t always look like you bowing down to a carved image, it isn’t also you kneeling and praying to some objects and images. It could be the smallest thing or the relationship you least expect. This is why the bible admonishes us to always search and evaluate ourselves and it is why David’s prayer to God remains gold, where he said

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting

Psalm 139; 23-24

Until we realise that only Jesus can fill the void we have, we will remain idol worshippers by nature.

This year, i’m trusting God to open your eyes to all the things and people you’ve placed above Him, to the things and people whose opinions come before Gods and to the things and people who get your heart before God does.

Idol worship in the 21st century takes a camouflage and chameleon view that we must identify and work against and the only way to do this is identify the only One that can fill that void, cause once it is filled, it is easy to recognise the counterfeits.


Godly relationships pt 2


This is a follow up post from the previous Moment of truth post and it came as an inspiration that led me to think deeply about something after reading a comment from a friend, Kristy, on the previous blog post.

Kristy said that “Not every deep relationship needs to be romantic”, and I think reading it at first glance echos truth for a lot of us because we might think of it on the surface level, so now please, re-read and understand more and not just on the surface level.

If you’ve done that, you’ve probably still come to the same conclusion, that Kristy is right, spot-on even, but here’s the twist; For we as Christians, most, if not all our relationships are deep, so it amplifies more the accuracy of Kristy’s statement.

God never mirrored shallow, depth-less relationships and even when he just met a new person, there was really no shallowness, take the Samaritan woman at the well for example, He met her and immediately reached depths with her as a result of His personal interaction with the Holy Spirit which gave Him insight to even her past.

Here’s why we cant even have shallow relationships; we have to be able to connect with people on a personal level. Jesus spoke to people about their past, He healed people of their diseases and illness of the moment, He saved a woman from being stoned to death in the moment and He also provided wine in a wedding where wine had run out.

Do you notice how unique and personal each of these are? Even if you wanted to look at the times when people in their masses received salvation, it was only because they had heard Jesus say something that was personal to them and as such, they believed!

This is why we cant entertain shallowness. It keeps us from reaching the depth of a person and that is what Jesus is after.

Hence, Kristy’s statement that ‘not every deep relationship needs to be romantic’, is true, but we must now approach the question of what happens if all our relationships are deep? Does it mean that my romantic relationship would emerge from one of my deep friendships?

Well, I honestly don’t know, but here is what I know, as Christians, we operate beyond the physical, the emotional and even the psychological, we’re moved and led by the Spirit of God in us bearing witness with our own Spirit, so even when we have all the deep relationships in the world, when the time for romance or an eros relationship comes, the Holy Spirit is also there to guide us in. He never leaves us thinking and turning on ‘who to pick’ or ‘where to go’.

He comes with a precision that transcends human calculation and logic, so Dear Christian, don’t be scared of  building relationships beyond the surface. It does not stop you from identifying the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh, contrary to popular opinion.

However, here’s the caveat, for some people, this can be a defence mechanism against sexual immorality and sin and as such, if it is, please carry on in your shallow relationships until you’re strong enough to handle deep without pushing for eros unless led by God.

Anything that will tamper with your personal relationship and growth with God, please ignore.

Moments of Truth; Godly relationships?

I had a very close friend whom I really loved and daily learnt a lot from.

We had met randomly and I remember the first day we started talking, he was joking about asking me to marry him and obviously it was banter, or so I thought.

He is rooted deeply in God and I really admired that so much about him, along with his tweets, posts and really uplifting messages.

Our friendship was full, especially because God was in the centre of it.

I wasn’t having any ulterior thoughts or motives regarding our friendship, I wasn’t thinking “oh, I’ll be close to him, maybe later we’ll get married”, I honestly didn’t even think our friendship would grow to one of romance so when he came asking me out, I was really shocked and really not sure what to say or how to say it.

He was convinced I had reasons for not saying yes, but the only reason I knew was that I hadn’t felt God lead me in that line but he couldn’t understand it and so whenever he brought up the topic and I didn’t respond with enthusiasm and the answer he desired, he would get worked up and throw some tantrums.

Our friendship became a bit emotionally difficult, I was careful of what I said and how I said it. I was careful not to call too often any more because I was concerned that the constant communication fostered more feelings and I was even more aware that I couldn’t be as free or open anymore because He had more feelings for me than friendship.

As such, we didn’t talk often any more, when we did, we would get into arguments over the silliest things. He unfollowed me on social media and when I asked, he did give a cogent reason, especially seeing the person he is.

It went downhill from there, when ever we got to speak, I was trying to keep it neutral and full of banter but he wasn’t having it, always wanting to get to the “why our friendship was not the same anymore” talk, which always left me struggling as I didn’t want to get to the relationship talk.

Eventually, I gave up, the arguments became too frequent, I got where I decided that if he couldn’t be friends with me without a relationship, I would have to walk away, however, never for once did I stop seeing him as the extremely Blessed and wise man of God that he really is.

Why have I written this?

It’s cause this wouldn’t be the first time I’m loosing friendship to “lets start dating”.

I’ve had to cut off friendships because the people couldn’t be friends with me without wanting more, I’ve lost amazing people who’ve thought I was patronising them for talking to them.

Especially the ones in the body of Christ, and for me, frankly it is scary!

Anyone who really knows me knows that I’m strongly anti-feeling and no, it’s not because I’m a rock or robot, it’s because feelings aren’t influenced by the spirit of God, they are usually in response to stimulus, thoughts and actions of the flesh.

And several years ago, I committed to living a life of spirit over flesh so when I have feelings that don’t tally with my spirit, my first reaction is to ignore.

God will lead you to so many people who will bless you, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, our response as humans to that is one of love and care but we can’t mistake this to mean Eros love. We can’t try to elevate it also to Eros love, we must entertain this godly love and care until our spirit (influenced by the spirit of God in Us) agrees to upgrade it to an Eros level.

This is a daily struggle with most young ladies and Men in the body of Christ, and I think if we talk about it together, we might beat the devil out of leveraging on it and killing godly impactful friendships.



How much does Age difference matter in a relationship?



In preparing for 2019, It was a direct instruction to go ahead and start blogging on relationships so this year, you’ll be reading a lot more on relationship issues and topics on Foch Woman.

Everything will be bible based and founded so if you don’t believe in the bible and it’s values, I do not expect you to completely agree or accept any of the things you’ll be reading on here, however, I can assure you that The Bible is True, and even when you’ve read and are or aren’t fully convinced, I encourage you to go back and weigh it against your own study and definitely prayer!

I’ve chosen to start with this question because I think there is so much controversy around it.

So, first, to answer the question directly, Age difference does not matter in a relationship.

When we look at most eros relationships in the bible, you will immediately notice that for the majority, it is what our generation will consider ‘Cougar alert’.

Older men had young wives, but these maidens were all of marriageable/child-bearing age. I realise how controversial this statement is, and I’ll expand more on it as we go on. Asides from the fact that women by the natural order of things, reach a certain age where they are unable to conceive children, in those days, your children were also seen as your wealth, so the more you had, the wealthier you were, as your children basically helped out in whatever family business you ran and the more hands the more profit hence most men married young wives to keep them producing long enough, this isn’t excusing those who just loved a younger woman.

Popular examples are Ruth and Boaz, Jacob and Rachel, Abraham and Hagar, etc. The ultimate one that blows my mind is Christ (God) and we, the church (The Bride). Do you have any idea what the age gap between God and the church is? Lol! You don’t want to think about it trust me.

I promise not to focus too much on those ancient days as well, we’ll focus more in relation to our generation but to get us to understand it completely, it might be needful to sometimes go back to where were coming from.

It is also important to note that this is very much from a place of enlightenment as well because I use to be one of them ladies who you’d hear saying ‘it shouldn’t be more than 6 years’ age difference, but if you asked me why, I did not have any cogent reason that could hold water, it was just some idea I thought good in my head and so I stuck with it.

There are biological, cultural and physical sentiments around this topic but what supersedes all of them is the will of God and the Will of God is not dependent or influenced by either of these sentiments, but simply by the way God wills it.

Age is one of many numerous things that have been sabotaged to be a certain way in relationships, but all of it is man-made and while man-made sometimes is good, God remains supreme.

If you’ve received a go ahead in your relationship with someone and your only fear is age difference and you’re certain it is borne from cultural sentiments and not a conviction from the Holy Spirit, I need to advise you to not play yourself but walk boldly into the blessings of God.

God is not bound by number, time or space, I wonder what makes us think that His plans could be.

Happy New Year!

We always wait a few days before we acknowledge celebration on this blog, and frankly, it is intentional. We realise that on the day of any national event or holiday were  all bombarded with congratulatory and well meaning messages on the day and frankly, it might get long and boring so at some point, we begin to scheme read and not really read to get the message in the content.

For us, day 7 of the New Year is the best time to come say our own Happy New Year because you might have replied or deleted all other Happy New Year messages by now and settled proper into 2019.

Nothing different came with 01/01/19 except a fresh orbit of the earth round the sun and the obvious change in date. The only other changes that will be occurring will be the ones intentionally decided with measurable steps to achieve them, so by day 7, you know already that anything you have not consciously decided to stop, start or pause, is not going to miraculously happen oblivious to you.

We announced on the Instagram page couple of days ago on FOCH woman’s theme of the year. We said it is a year of Depth! Growing in depth in whatever God has placed in your hands. The beautiful thing of depth is that it is directly linked to growth. There is no depth without a level of growth, so as we strive to increase depth, we strive to grow.

Here’s wishing you your best year yet!

Foch Team x

happy new year!

Hello, from the other side

Elevation Church Steve Furtick, sat with T.D Jakes in an informal interview recently where they talked on ‘Building your vision from the ground up‘. (I’ve linked the interview, so please feel free to click and watch).

Anyone who knows T.D Jakes knows that his story is one of pure hard work, diligence, consistency and crowned with Grace. I wonder if he would describe himself as self-made as he really came from the true definition of a humble background. But Because of his clergy position, I doubt he might openly declare himself such because there’s the high tendency of this single line being used against Himself, His faith and His church, however, looking at it, as a mere human being, T.D. Jakes, can be classified as the few Bishop/celebrity in the world to be self-made.

In his interview with Steve, he makes a bold claim, saying that “Most CEO’s and Business executives know very well that the problem is not where we are going, or what we want to achieve. The problem is usually what we are willing to drop in order to get to that place”.

Seeing as were in this part of the year where those who make resolutions, make them, those who set goals, set them and those who merely live by chance, somewhere within themselves, also make decisions, I think it is worth considering this statement to understand the battle were really fighting.

If you look at a lot of resolutions and goals, you will see that they are all the ‘will do’s’ and ‘will be’s’. The actions we hope to put in place in order to achieve whatever it is we have set in our minds as the goal, however, T.D. Jakes is claiming that answering these questions don’t really empower us with what we need to achieve the set goals, but he challenges us to identify the things/people, we are willing to let go of in order to make it to that desired goal.

In these last few days of my retreat, i’m taking my mind off the things I plan to do, the places I plan to visit and the people I plan to meet and focusing my mind on the things I must not do, the places I must not go and the people I must not entertain.

It is a phenomenon in mathematics called logical equivalence, instead of directly attacking what you need to do, start by identifying the things you DON’T need to do. I think it is an absolutely exciting exercise for anyone who will be truthful doing it as it stops you from seeing possibility on just one side and opens you to the possibilities on the other side as well.

For a lot of us, 2019 is not the year of ‘will’s’ and ‘do’s’, it is more of the year of ‘will not’s’ and ‘don’t’s’. I hope with everything in me that you identify clearly all those habits, people and things hindering you from being your best self, as the faster we drop those things, the closer we get to those goals!

Have fun completing the statements below, I advise writing them down. It’ll be your writing against you if you ever do break any.

i will not

….is better than the devil you don’t know


Yesss, I made another blog post to complete the previous one!

I was reminded of the statement as I titled the previous blog post, and I think it is worth talking about.

How true is this statement? Is the devil we know really better than the devil we don’t know? I heard it for the first time in a movie where a mother was attempting to convince her daughter to marry a man who she had been with for 5 years but use to verbally abuse her, over a man who she recently met at work and had known only for a few weeks. Somehow, her mom sold her the idea that the man who verbally abused her but still loved her, was far better than the new chap who she was yet to know more about.

Subsequently, I heard it more, both in movies and real life and i’m tempted to believe that some of us actually harbour that thought in our hearts and heads.

But, this saying is the biggest motivator of mediocrity and a huge opposing force to faith!

It tells you to stick with what is familiar over trying to see something that might be better, just cause there’s also the probability that it might be worse. So we encourage people and even ourselves to stick with the one we know.

I might re-define faith for us to see again. It is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Emphasis on ‘Hoped for’ and ‘not seen’. Faith gives us the ability to believe and hope for the impossible, and believe with all our hearts that, that impossible is so much better than the present.

So when we encourage ourselves with sayings like this, we encourage ourselves to settle, to be ‘content’ in ‘this one’, so it does not get worse in our attempt to leave ‘this one’. ‘This one’ will vary with person and situation. We all know ‘the ones’.

The devil, from our last post uses this sometimes as well, to keep us from moving to places God has prepared for us, he fills us with fear of the future and fear of the unknown, and because we allow that fear settle in us, we cease to move until we see the entire picture, which half the time will never happen.

Faith moves without seeing the whole picture, but what makes it faith is that it has come in response to a Word from God. They work hand in hand.

The next time you hear this statement, or even by yourself think it, I want you to actually bind it! You’re not called to mediocrity! You’re here for so much more! Trust God and move as His Spirit guides you!

There’s an Instagram post on ‘Hearing from God’. You can check it out here.

The devil you know…

Lets gossip about the devil for a minute shall we…

I was thinking today, or should I say reminded, of how my best feelings are those of insufficiency and inadequacy. Please don’t judge me yet,

But you see, contrary to what the devil intends to use those feelings for, it ends up being times when i’m reminded of my weaknesses and needing God’s strength. Really, it is a reminder that I am human and in need of some supernatural ability, Grace.

It is also the greatest joy to know that God is not man and while man is capable of judging just the physical, God is able to see it all.

The devils biggest weapon is guilt and shame, and this is mostly because it is easy to get a human webbed there, it is also one involving the mind and will, which are the devils targets to sew his work. he uses our conscience against us if we let him, he tries to make us feel less than who God has made us to be and tell us all that we are not, all in an attempt to derail us from the course God has placed us on.

We’ll get stuff right, we’ll also make mistakes, we’ll feel shame and pain, we might also do the exact thing we said we wouldn’t, but in all, God remains same and stays there with arms wide open.

The next time you feel like you’ve failed, or lost a mark, or a bit inadequate or insufficient, let it be a reminder of the winning, accurate, adequate and sufficient God we serve. Don’t worry about the humans who only see the falling as well, they’ll come around. Your own is to be in right standing with God.

I felt that way right now, and it’s birthed this blogpost!

Dear satan, Thank you!

Moments of Truth

I have decided to tag any blog-post that draws lessons from my personal life and experiences ‘Moments of Truth’. Because it is me, coming clean with you all, *cough, I mean, the entire world, seeing as anything that goes on the internet, has the potential to reach the entire world.

Part of my retreat is prayerfully meditating and answering some questions from the retreat guide (i’m happy to email it to you if you request it).

A few days ago, I was on question 17, and it reads – ‘How much did you grow in the Word this year?’

I honestly could’ve just written ‘I grew a whole lot’ and moved on, but as part of my retreat rules, I must think about a question for a minimum of 3 minutes before I attempt writing down answers and praying on them.

So while thinking on this question, something hit me really hard, so my answer went something along the lines of ‘I definitely grew in the word this year, but compared to 2017, I didn’t grow as much’.

After I finished writing, I felt a level of satisfaction, till I remembered that 2018 was ‘Read the entire bible’ through the year. 2017 was not that year. So it was fascinating to me that in the year where I purposely choose to read the entire bible, I don’t grow as much as in the year I don’t read the entire bible.

Ps. I am not one of those Christians who believe that reading the bible is a feat, for me, it was a personal goal I set for myself, as I also did in 2015 as well. That you’ve read the entire bible, page to page, word to word, does not gives you a ‘Rabbi’ title or place a Halo over your head in the spiritual realm. So please try to get my point.

Back to my story, as I was laughing at myself and marvelling at this funny truth, I heard God telling me that ‘It is not in the quantity or the milestones, rather, the quality and the fellowship’.

Basically, what that meant to me was that, my routine to read this number of chapters every day, did not mean that I was connecting and fellowshipping with the spirit of God in all of those moments, for some of the time, it was ‘crush the to-do list’ and not ‘sit at the feet of Jesus’.

So, I got more from my 2017 ‘random’ bible reading than I did in my 2018 intentional ‘read the entire bible through the year’ plan because of my pursuit for the quantity over the quality.

But affliction will not rise a second time, 2019, we’re reading the bible, whether all through or just as led by the spirit, the most important thing is that we are actually fellowshipping with the Spirit of God while at it. That makes all the difference!

Now, if you don’t mind me asking, How much did you grow in the Word this year?