All day I heard my mum comment on how cold my babies nursery was, despite the temperature set slightly higher than recommended. In same day, I heard my sister lament constantly about how hot same room was.

I heard them both say opposite things so much that I got confused and spent the day turning the radiator on and off, and opening and closing their nursery door periodically.

I totally disconnected from what I thought, my own perception of the temperature and just ran with my outward pulls in opinions.

Nelson got home and I passed on same lament to him, telling him how mummy thinks it too cold and my sister thinks it too hot, and when I was done, he asked “you Rubie, what do you think about the temperature?” (And because pregnancy hormones are still very high, I cried at this level of consideration when he left the room)

His question invited me back to connect with me (my own thoughts, my own intuition and my own spirit which is indwelt by the Holy Spirit).

I realised I hadn’t actually considered that anymore, I’d been so pulled out by outward opinions, I didn’t hear me anymore.

And after that invitation and reconnection, I genuinely thought the room perfect, despite the contrary thoughts.

As always since I entered this season, it got me thinking how sometimes, in a quest to fight and overcome selfishness, we risk becoming totally disconnected from ourselves, but we fail to realise that any extreme of self, whether in indulgence or total disconnection could have adverse effects.

Jesus’ command to us was to deny self, not to disconnect totally from it. Remember it is His spirit who bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. Being disconnected hinders this witness from the Holy Spirit.

I’m also convinced that our Christianity will not have the capacity to be genuinely tested if we disconnected and not denied.

In denying self, you feel and acknowledge its desires but you resist its invitation to indulge, with disconnecting, you neither feel nor acknowledge any desires, you simply just don’t exist.

The world is so loud and that could very quickly drown out the voice from within, it’s why we need to take very intentional steps to hear that still small voice and not be tossed everywhere by outward voices.

My new season undoubtedly has come with deep lessons which require a quieter inside despite my very noisy outside now, so I’m really prioritising solitude, stillness and retreat seasons in 2026. I invite you to do same.

The Spirit within must always be louder.

And if it wasn’t obvious enough through the post, more mummy and parent-inspired thoughts coming in 2026 because God has shown Nelson and I great mercy and we now steward two mighty nations.

What a season it’s been, What a privilege we have been given.