Early in my life, I realised how God had set my heart on fire to see young girls and women live and lead value & purpose driven lives in Him. I think God used my own life to show me how left it could go and how quickly too, if we weren’t anchored in Him.

So once He brought me into Himself, I discovered how quickly I panicked when I met young girls and women who seemed so careless with their lives and habits. I’d fear that they’ll destroy themselves by their living, I’d imagine the worst if they didn’t turn the opposite direction, and I’d convince myself that I needed to turn them around, and I was going to do that through one or two conversations. Lol

I remember a course mate in university particularly who came into lecture one morning looking distraught and when I’d asked, she confessed to having had an abortion over the last weekend. I screamed, not even at the abortion, it was her life I was worried for, and not even in a medical way, more in an essence way. I often see every life spent outside God as essence wasted that could’ve been used in the kingdom, so I panicked at how much essence was spent getting to that point and how much more will be spent mourning that action.

I remember another who got raped in university after someone knocked to ask for her charger, we had a conversation after the ordeal and I convinced her to press charges, and after she refused, I tried to convince her to come with me to church, I could see essence living her with how unbothered she became with uni and life in general. I know I came too strongly and one day I woke up and found I had been blocked across all socials.

I remember one even more close to home, who hated her family and looked for any and every opportunity to leave. She always met my points of conversation with “Rubie free me with that Jesus talk”. Because for her, Jesus was always to blame. He put her in that family and knew this would happen.

I Often wondered why God allowed me live to be present in each of these girls lives in these particular seasons, especially cause I wasn’t equipped to support them best then, even losing some in the process, in the case of the second.

But now, having lived long enough, in the last couple of years, I’ve come to see that God always keeps His own, even when they’re unaware and far from becoming aware. I realise how only one change of fate would’ve removed me from either of the girls stories above, I only featured in their story because God wanted me to. And so it is crazy for me to think that my circle of awareness is the only reach of God too.

What of the millions of young girls and women that I don’t know that are turning to drugs, sex and self harm daily? is my conversation gonna reach them and change them? I think not.

So I’ve come to realise that while God really wants to see all men come to salvation, He’s also doing that at His own pace and in His own way. Our own really is to be discerning for when He wants to use us.

I’ve seen girls and women who lived the wildest lives turn back to Him over a moment or a couple days, weeks or months, even some described above. I’ve come to believe that God will birth some more of us the same way He birth me, with little words and drama, only by His Spirit because He really does govern this entire universe.

My heart is always in awe at the miraculous power of transformed men and women. And this year, I’ve seen it like never before. People who cursed God turn right back and claim Him as Lord.

So I’m reminding myself again, and you by extension, that we cannot love people more than God loves them, and as disturbing as it might be to watch that person live so recklessly, when mercy comes, it comes. So take that concern and zeal to God in prayer and watch God be God.

Until we see all men saved, we must remember to pray for lost sheep. Changing them is in the jurisdiction of the Holy Spirit alone and He’s just as eager to see them come home.