Inviting now, rather than later?

I had some baking to do in the last couple of days so this morning, I got up and did the last of it before getting to wash the utensils.

Who else sees washing plates as a necessary evil? lol. It is not something I am very keen on doing but I’ve come to accept that it is something I might never be able to run from, no matter the number of disposables one decides to use.

Anyway, back to washing the baking trays, I always save them for last because they need the most space to wash and rinse properly without getting the entire floor wet so I did that. I finished washing every other thing that needed washing, preparing the sink to wash the trays.

As I was washing the biggest of the 2 trays, I noticed how water kept splashing everywhere no matter how low I tried to keep the intensity of the flow from the tap, I also noticed it took me longer to wash round it, and also rinse round it till it was clean enough to dry in the rack. By the time I got to the smaller tray, I was smiling, appreciating how easy it appeared to be with the washing and rinsing and with minimal water being splashed around because the dirt was not as bad and it’s size was also manageable.

Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of a conversation we were having recently in my bible study where we were discussing if God takes a man’s life when He turns to Him and gets Him to start again with His (God’s) original plan for His life, or if God continues to build on what a man has already started to build and ignores the previous buildings erected for that man even after he turns to God.

We began looking into the bible and we saw that it was all reliant on God’s sovereignty, for some people like Abraham, God required Him to stop and go back, Abraham had assumed that God will carry on delivering the promise through Ishmael, but God’s word stood on the fact that the promise was going to be delivered through Isaac and so Abraham’s plan of Ishmael was only a detour but not the original plan of God. While for some others, God did not necessarily get them to start again but restructured their foundations and carried on building.

The conclusion of that matter was to invite God from the start rather than take any chances to wait until you have started building to invite God into it. A lot of Christians are guilty of that, carrying on with their own personal desires and telling God “oh God, i’ll come to you, not just now”, most times, more in our actions than our words.

So The Holy Spirit was giving me an analogy with the baking trays, saying that ‘A man who decides to build and comes back to me after His personal buildings are erected, but I have rejected is the big tray who will take longer and undergo more tedious processes to get to the place I want them, they will also cause levels of inconvenience to the people around because in their washing and restructuring of their foundation, other people will be affected as well,’, then He said ‘With the small tray, notice the ease with which you turned it around to wash properly without splashing any water at all, that’s how much easier it will be when people just surrender to me before building anything that I have not authorised and making me look like the bad guy when I try to pull down structures that should not be there in the first place’.

I thought this very accurate, how we often run with out thoughts and desires without first waiting to hear from God and when He comes around later after we’ve let Him in and He begins to pull down structures not meant to be there, we make it appear like ‘God is testing me’ or ‘God is taking me through a wilderness right now’, meanwhile, all He’s doing is uprooting all the things that He did not plant.

It is always wise to submit your plans, will and desire to  God and just ask Him to rule and reign over them because He always knows best!. Don’t wait till you think you’ve achieved what you want and then hand it over to Him. While it is still little with minimal cost of damage, present it to God and receive His guidance on the situation.

You’ll save yourself and the people around you so much stress by just submitting and being obedient.


This ‘thing’ called Love :)

I totally understand why Jesus summed up the entire law in the Love command. Like the 10 written commandments, together with all the other laws, offerings and sacrifices were just dealt with in one way. Love way.

Love is powerful!

Last night, I got home feeling like I would literally break in any moment, like physically speaking, it was not even the activity of just that day, I think it was a compound effect of my sleep deprivation and limited rest in the days leading up, so I was really down and to worsen it, I spoke to my mum earlier and she was feeling sick as well and that just really got to me, but on getting home, I sensed a deep need to spend some time in prayer, so I got to my room, lay for a while and just cried. The tiredness, the feelings, mummy’s illness and just wanting to be pampered by my loving Father in that moment.

I was mentally getting ready to get up to pray when God just led me to read Psalm 139:16, and the tears just started flowing, this time it was not even about the feeling or situation of the moment, it was in response to realising my importance to the greatest being that could ever live and His undying Love for me.

I was trying to rush through that feeling so I could get into praying about the things bringing me concern and I just sensed Him asking me to abide, to wait and get the fullness of it and I was mentally struggling, like ‘God, there won’t be enough time to pray’ but he just kept saying to stay there.

I obliged and by the time I was finished, I lay across my bed with my head dangling at the side, my heart full and my peace restored. My fatigue had disappeared as well and strength I could not understand came, but what blew me away was the assurance and nudge to go to bed, Everything was going to be fine.

God used His love to sort out my pain, my fatigue and my concerns. He would rather I stayed there and enjoy His love than shout out my prayers to Him in tears. It doesn’t automatically mean ‘Don’t raise your requests to God in prayer’, but in that moment, and for this time, this was all He required and I remain in awe honestly.

God’s love is second to none. It’s potency, it’s fullness and its consuming nature is one I pray we never miss out on. Love was able to cover every law that existed because everything responds to love. Not just people, but every situation, every pain and every harsh reality of this life.

Let’s be intentional in accepting God’s love. He gives it because He sees it is the solution, not a solution, The solution. Let love also be our solution to everyone and everything.


Moments of Truth ; Self aside, Personality aside


I saw early on that one of the weaknesses of my personality independently, is the need to understand everything, especially if it has logical elements, I always feel a need to understand why certain decisions were made up to the final stage. In submitting to the Holy Spirit (which is still in process), I saw He began to change this, He started teaching me that “sometimes, there won’t be sufficient explanation or logic behind something, but I still need to obey or comply as the case might be”.

My brain still interprets this as violation sometimes, but most times, if I sense the lead of the Holy Spirit to Just let it be, I ignore even myself and trust that even without me understanding it all, God will be God.
It’s part of that breaking process, part of God saving you from your own self so that you’re totally surrendered because in a pursuit of understanding something one day, I might be going against the plan or desire of the Spirit of God and in such a time, what it means is me standing in opposition to God which is somewhere I never want to get to.

So these days, when things I don’t fully get come around and I so badly want to understand it completely and I hear the nudge or words of Holy Spirit within me, I refrain, it’s so painful and uncomfortable but with each lesson, it gets easier.
God is breaking my so called personality to one totally yielded to Him.

And that’s same for each and everyone of us, for some, he might be pushing you to even ask more questions, while for others like me, were being pruned to not ask all questions till We completely understand.

Check out the last Moments of truth post.

Dealing with fear

From the blog-post ‘Do it Afraid’, I finished it with this sentence ;

“Don’t do it afraid. Deal with the fear, then do it.”

A meticulous friend of mine brought it to my attention that it might be worth breaking down what ‘Dealing with fear’ is, because logically reading that, it probably makes sense to most of us, but do we actually know what it means or what it takes to deal with fear?

Fear is no respecter of person or position as you might have discovered, it is also very sneaky and can crawl up on you without you even realising it is there, till you trace your actions backwards and realise that some of the steps taken were taken in fear.

There’s another twisted part of fear, it actually gives its own motivation, but it’s motivation is usually to take the more familiar or easy way because you can tell it’s outcome which really isn’t advisable for people committed to living and walking by the Spirit of God because most times, the Spirit of God will call us to the unknown and the daunting but expects us to step out in faith knowing Who has called us.

Below, I’ve highlighted 5 ways of dealing with fear, not in any particular order but depending on situation. I also want to first highlight that fear is Never of God, it is not in God’s nature to make us fearful or timid. His word says ‘For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.’ – 2 Timothy 1:7.

This verse makes it clear that fear is not a package that God comes with and so we should be intentional about dealing with it.

  1. Don’t deny it, confront it – We’re human with histories and backgrounds, sometimes fears have grown from things we’ve experienced or heard. Some people are terrified of travelling by air because of plane crash news, some are terrified of eating fish today because in their childhood, they almost choked to death by a fish bone, and I myself use to be terrified of Married men as I shared in a recent blog-post because of my past. Some of these fears have been fed by occurrences in our past and God doesn’t want us to deny them but confront them with prayer and His word which is truth. When we begin to see that ‘God has a plan for us and has given his angels command to keep charge over us’, we won’t be scared of transportation or death even, because lets even say death does meet us there, at least there’s the joy of going home. When I also saw that Married men are never the problem and they are not out to get me, that fear dissipated. God is with me and watches me wherever I go, automatically I cease to fear whatever is man made or caused. We need to find The truth of God that liberates us from the fears we have.
  2. Sometimes do exactly what seems to scare you – By personal experience, I also discovered that the devil uses fear to keep us from God’s promises. Using just a home example, there were numerous times when I allowed fear stop me from asking my Mum or Dad for things and I suffered in whatever situation I was because fear crippled me and when I did gather the courage to ask, the way they even received the request showed that they would’ve granted it whenever I had asked but I allowed fear stop me from even making the move to ask. Sometimes spiritually too, God calls us to people, places and things and fear stops us from launching out, but we have to be bold enough to trust the Word of God.
  3. Something has to be growing, so feed faith – Something is always growing within you. It is either your faith or fear, so make it intentional always to be growing your faith by exposing yourself to the Word of God. Why? “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” – Romans 10:17. When we feed our faith by seeing God’s work in the life of others, fear fades out because it has met with something more powerful than it, so please, spend some time in your bible.
  4. Talk to people about what’s causing fear – I had a friend who feared failing in school, the fear so overwhelmed her that when it was time to read, she was more afraid that she wouldn’t remember what she was reading than she was that she will actually write and pass. In sharing this fear with me, I always kept her accountable, encouraging her with words of success and also praying with her about the fear. Sometimes when we share fears with people, we lessen its power over us. Fear also takes the facade of guilt and shame sometimes, when you do something, because no one is aware, you move the rest of your life in fear just hoping no one finds out. In sharing that with someone able to handle it maturely and pray with you, you dismantle the power of guilt and shame in that fear, so sometimes, God might lead us to deal with our fears by sharing them with people. Confession has so much power, don’t ever let fear stop you from confessing.
  5. Ultimately, remember whose you are before even who you are – A major trick I’ve used in my christian journey is realising that I am empowered and backed up by God. My life is not normal or ordinary by the fact that the Holy Spirit lives within me. I think we Christians forget this sometimes, because you can’t have the power that spoke creation into existence inside of you and still be running away from cockroaches (By the way i’m so guilty of this, i’m not a fan of insects at all). But hey, it is something we must daily remind ourselves of. That, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” – 1 John 4:4

If we’re intentional about these practical steps of dealing with fear, we’ll be more sensitive to recognise it when it comes around even.

So remember, “Don’t do it afraid. Deal with the fear, then do it.”


How do I live above temptations?

This is a follow up blog post from the last one, where I spoke about a conversation I had with a friend. The question asked was ‘How do I live above temptations and stay spiritually grounded?’

This was my response to her, only with subheadings now and I hope it impacts you as well.

1) Talk to God about them : It is always worth talking to God about our temptations, I’m not even saying praying “oh God help me not to fall into temptation”, I mean like mentioning whatever they are and telling God to help you live above them, determination is never enough for the human flesh, our human flesh bows to our temptations no matter the level of determination we have, so it’s more of a spiritual thing, if we’re empowered in the spirit, it also helps us physically. So mention the temptations to God

2) Set times for Bible study and Prayer : Have a set time for bible study and prayer, whether first thing in the morning or after work when you get home, but the more frequent and exact it is, the more you’ll look forward to it.
We can’t downplay the importance of bible study if we want to walk in step with the Spirit of God, I don’t know how often you read the bible and pray right now, but I advice making it more frequently and at a Particular time.
If God gets used to hearing your voice in that time, He’ll always be ready for you when you appear before Him in that time.

3) Be mindful of your association : I learnt this one late even and it’s the most practical of all the steps, you have to be mindful of your association and the people around you.
As Odeshi as we think we are to peer pressure, it sips into our subconscious and we actually find ourselves compromising in areas we used to be determined before.
So have people who will actually push your spiritual walk with God and not demean it.
The right people around you bring out the good things in you.
If you’re exposed too much to someone who encourages your temptation, you’ll keep falling

4) Find Hobbies that keep you occupied : Find hobbies and things that’ll keep your mind from being idle, I don’t know what you enjoy asides your daily job, but I think it’s worth picking up a few hobbies that’ll keep you occupied.
For me it’s reading and writing. And it helps so much because asides the time I actually leave out for meditation, I hardly have “free” time.
It’s usually in free times that our temptations jump on us, so we can minimise that occurrence by giving ourselves to more beneficial things, so start exploring your hobbies and see what you can pick up.
And don’t let the hobbies be watching TV please lol

5) Remember always that Jesus has been in same shoes : Finally, it always helps when we remember that the bible says that “we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet he did not sin”, because the same way we are tempted is the same way He was tempted and He still overcame. So if human like us, He overcame, we also can.
When you’re at those low points, just make a mental note to God and ask Him how He would’ve treated such a situation if He was in same temptation and God will answer.
He always speaks, and I find that He’s most happy when we’re honest and open about our temptations and struggles.

It is an inexhaustible list as I said to her, but these are starting points.


Are our bible plans really enough?


This post will probably not apply to every single one of us, some of us might even have an opposing view, so here’s stating in advance how subjective this is and my advice to any growing Christian like myself.

I had a conversation with a young woman a couple of days ago, she had decided she wanted to grow spiritually and live above temptations and she reached out to me on advice and ‘top tips’, as she put it.

I will share another blog post after this because I realised after typing out my response that it might be beneficial to someone else. In one of the points I gave to her, I spoke on how important bible study is in the life of anyone desiring to grow spiritually, and I explained that the Bible is that revealed word that gives us insight into the mind of God. And so, it’s importance cannot be overemphasised.

She agreed with me on these points and went further to share struggles with bible reading, asking how she can study the bible effectively and actually learn things and receive rhema and we got into the whole conversation of Bible plans on bible apps and even devotionals.

I completely understood where she was coming from in saying that she didn’t feel she learnt a lot in devotionals and bible plans, she said she usually gets the main message and sometimes it does linger in her heart for a period of time, but she’s not sure how much growth that brings her spiritually and I told her that I honestly agreed with her and shared how God taught me to read the bible, which I will also share in an upcoming blog-post.

There’s something called rhema in Christianity and I see rhema as the revelation of Gods word to a specific individual. When a human being receives an understanding of Gods word on a very personal level, that is rhema and logos might be word revealed to you by another human or through various agents, which also might bring rhema subsequently.

But I’ve come to see that there is nothing as beautiful as receiving rhema from God, if all our christian life, we live feeding on the rhema of others, including our Pastors, Bible school teachers and other ‘spiritual’ friends, how do we now grow to actually hearing God for ourselves and receiving that rhema?

I have nothing against bible plans and devotionals but they have never been the primary source of my bible study, I’ve received more from God by picking up my bible directly and reading and allowing the Spirit of God speak to my Spirit. The revelation your Pastor brings to you, might not be the same revelation you receive from God reading the same story by yourself, and this won’t be contrary words, it would just be from another angle that is more suited to the place you are in your life.

This is why we must push past logos to rhema word, and why I advise growing Christians to study the actual bible, even while doing bible plans and using devotionals.

God always wants to reach us at a personal level, not collectively or in pairs, but just Him and you, but how can that happen if we receive His word from other people and never from Him?

Bible plans and devotionals are awesome, for some people, it would even be the stepping stone to actual Bible studying and for that, I highly recommend it, but don’t ever limit your spiritual growth and communication with God to what you read in bible plans and devotionals. God has more beyond what He has revealed to someone.

Hence why after church on Sunday and after group bible study, it is not enough to remain excited in the message you received, rather, go home and further study and get the whole loaf rather than just the crumbs that got you excited.

The Oprah’s and the Ruth’s

It’s really amazing how Ruth made it to having a book named after her in the bible, I have nothing against her but I’ve just always wondered the criteria used to decide how books were named because if it was a show of strength and resilience, Deborah should’ve come first, if it was by leadership and devotion to God, Miriam would’ve come first and if it was by mere obedience and trust, Sarah, Abraham’s wife should’ve come first, not in any way demeaning the amazing strengths and characters displayed by Ruth really.

Another named woman in that book is Orpah, we seem to only remember Ruth and Naomi in discussions over the book of Ruth and most times people speak like Orpah was the disloyal one who left her mother-in-law to go back to her country.

Heroic Ruth decided to stick with her even to death and the place Naomi was going to be buried.
It’s also weird we hear nothing again of Orpah after this scene, and my thoughts as I meditated on this was that God had destined the root of Jesus to come through Ruth.

I want us to remember that Naomi had called both daughter-in-laws to honestly advise them to go back to their countries because she had lost everything and was also returning to her country. Remember she even said that “even if I did marry again and bare children, would you both wait till they were grown to marry them?”. She saw that these girls were both young and could still make much of their lives if they returned home.

After a little back and forth, the bible says that Orpah then kissed her and went, this kills every argument of Orpah being disrespectful because all she’d done was reason and see that Naomi spoke truth and her conviction led her to leave to go back home.
Ruth on the other hand was convicted to remain with Naomi no matter what! For her it was a do or die affair and this was her own conviction.

We can’t judge people’s conviction on the basis of how we see it because a conviction is what it is, a personal resolution that is come from deep within a person. For us as Christians now, the Holy Spirit will usually convict us on various things in our lives, can we say that same Holy Spirit convicted both Ruth and Orpah?
Maybe not, because Christ hadn’t come yet and neither had He sent His spirit to dwell in His children.
But as we’ve always seen, God has always made provision for keeping His children in step with Him, sometimes it’s the conscience, those days it was the law and prophets and today were in that era of the Holy Spirit, so Ruth and Oprah’s convictions emanated from somewhere which my spirit tells me was pure.

Now, thinking on the flip side to when they did get to Naomi’s home in Bethlehem, how many women was Boaz going to marry? If Orpah had followed back too, do we see that there could’ve been some levels of conflict and issues over which one of them Boaz would redeem?, seeing that both of them might have been sent to glean in His field as well. God purposed Boaz to end up with Ruth and if that purpose was manifested in the conviction of Orpah by leading her to go back to her home, I see obedience and trust, rather than disloyalty and fear.

This morning I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that some are Orpah’s and some are Ruth’s, sometimes your conviction will lead you to go and other times it might be to stay, what matters in both occurrences is your obedience.
We can’t interpret the absence of Orpah’s name in the bible after that chapter to mean that she did something wrong and was removed, it could just be that it is Ruth’s life, which we still read about that God was bringing someone out from, which is the Messiah.
Note however that not everything is recorded in the bible and sometimes the Holy Spirit gives insight to what might have happened that wasn’t recorded.

The point in this post is to be sensitive to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, don’t think of the “best ideal option” and stick with it, just be open to whatever option He might lead you to, even if it is going home as in the case of Orpah.
God isn’t judging you against anyone else, however similar your situation might have been, He’s looking at your obedience to Him in any and every situation.
So please drop the expectation and desires of others over your life, or better still, subject those expectations and desires to the spirit of God so He can sieve and filter through them.

Your obedience will always come first before the thought of any human or even yourself. We read Orpah’s actions sometimes as disrespectful and disloyal, but for all we know, it could’ve been her own conviction which stands tall even in the mirror of Ruth’s conviction to continue with Naomi.

I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable knowing that you might be an Orpah and not a Ruth because you’re just as awesome x


Pastors Wife?

I had the best weekend, I really hope you can say same and if not, let’s forget the past and prepare for this coming week, with all its opportunities as well as blessings.

A key highlight for me was the IWP Hangout where we got to talk a lot on the struggles of the 21st century woman and looked at biblical examples on tackling each and everyone of them with the help of the Holy Spirit (I would share highlights from the event soon). While one girl was speaking at the event, she out rightly said “I cannot marry a pastor, I know the grace God has placed on me and being a Pastors’s wife (PW) is not within the jurisdiction of that grace”. It was all fun and banter till this evening, a day later, a friend I sat with who was also present at the hangout randomly asked me what is wrong with being a ‘PW’, I didn’t even understand till she said ‘Pastor’s wife’ and I literally took 10 seconds to laugh before I could put myself together to respond, not like I even had the answer.

So I asked her if it was because of the comment made yesterday and she responded in the affirmative, reminding me by the side that we need to be careful of what we say in public and even at the reaction we give to things because people who don’t know better might take your personal sentiment and judge a whole situation by that.

My answer was just that ‘it comes with its own responsibility’ but the responsibility is not something you can’t deal with once God’s Spirit has walked with you into that marriage with the Pastor. She wasn’t clear on the responsibilities so I shared what I think I had observed and also what I had heard from my own Pastor’s wife (who is my Second mummy), and the things included, being patient enough with the number of people all over your husband (Pastor) because of the office he occupies, your responsibility to the people in your church, both men and women alike, your responsibility to be prepared for visitations and emergencies at any point in time really.

These and a host of other things I think characterise the life of a PW, but I thought more and realised that any wife of a minister of God might have similar responsibilities, so I kept asking the Holy Spirit, why really young girls don’t want to end up as Pastor’s wife and I was reminded of a message I listened to by Apostle Joshua Selman where He spoke on ‘The tripartite nature of the woman’ and towards the end of that sermon, he was admonishing women to be serious and fervent about their spiritual walk with God, then he added further that ‘if on top of being a woman, you marry a Man of God (I reckon he was referring to a Pastor), you must even be double because the responsibility is much’. I’ve paraphrased the last part but this was the main message.

Every woman of God has a responsibility to her husband, her family and her community at large, I don’t think that changes much for a woman of God married to a Pastor, only that you also have a responsibility to the congregation your Husband pastors, not in the fact that you live to please them, but that you live to show them love as the wife of the shepherd that God has placed them under.

I really don’t have a personal opinion on this because truthfully, I like a private relational life, especially when I get married, I don’t know if being a PW stands in the way of this but the conclusion remains the same, that wherever God has called you to, He has released grace for you to also go and excel.

Let’s stop the sentimental jokes around Pastor’s wives, I think they’re doing awesomely well, and please don’t interpret my advocacy for them as a sure sign that i’ll be one. because here’s the irony of life, how many Pastor’s wives really knew that ‘My husband will be a Pastor one day’ when they were getting married? while some were fortunate to already see it before they walked into marriage, some met the anointing and instruction while in marriage, so, You there, Yes you, running away from Pastors, just know that God has a funny sense of humour! I’m a living witness to that!

pastors wife

International Women’s day Hang-out!

IWD (1)

Nothing excites me more than a gathering of believing ladies, where we come and just pour out our hearts to our creator and have some fun while at it!

Today is one of such days and it’s a promise to share pictures from today’s get together for anyone who wont be able to make it.

Proverbs 31:29 says that ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all’.

We’re tapping into this truth today and exploring how we can be the women that would be described as the sentence above.

It’s really a Super Power to be female so don’t ever take that for granted.

God is brewing the FOCH generation, I AM EXCITEDDDD!

What do you want in Life?

I wrote a post in the past, which can be found here, where I spoke about how a Lady I once worked with wanted to build the rest of her career in that company we both worked for and how I knew from the first day I started, how temporary that role would be, it was just for that season of my life, by it’s nature and also looking inwardly.

I remember I expressed my shock the first time I heard her say to a senior manager that ‘You have me forever’ and she was not even joking, I could see as time went on that she found fulfilment working there and the conclusion was that the purest happiness will come from doing and being where you are destined to do and be. Which is why comparison and competition will forever be the greatest killer of true fulfilment.

Today again, I am reminded of how we all want different things in this life, of how aberrational it is for us to compare our desires with that of our neighbour knowing fully well that we are not even the same people, neither are we going to the same place however similar our lives might look.

I was speaking to my aunt a while back and she’s been a stay-at-home mother/entrepreneur for as long as I can remember, she loves that life and i’m a witness to how much she’s flourished in this seemingly ‘small’ office as society might see it, so one day we were having one of those heart-to-heart and she said from when she was younger, all she really wanted was a stable and happy home, for her, it was less about her career and just all about her family. And she has exactly that! A happy and stable home.

I’ve equally spoken to women who were more career driven and want a successful career, even before a family home and I think if that works for them, there is little or no problem, I dream of a world where young people will be able to discuss their dreams, however different they will all be and laugh and support each other through them and not feel insecure of intimidated about the life someone else envisages for themselves.

Similarly, I sat with someone yesterday as well and we were talking about a family we both knew and I was like ‘they literally go everywhere together’ and my friend was like, ‘yes, that is what it should be’, and I brought her attention to the fact that it could only work this way because of the nature of a lot of factors including that the woman doesn’t exactly work independently of her husband, rather she supports him in his own business, and I just wanted her to also see how it would play out differently for another woman in another setting.

I began talking about how I don’t really see my husband and I like that, but this didn’t mean we won’t be close and know each other’s business and we got in a mini back-and-forth on ‘how it should be’, but same conclusion was derived, down to what a person wants, and no one having a right to tell anyone what they want, but the disadvantage with that is you end up dancing to the music you play for yourself so godly wisdom and discernment must be applied.

The best version of yourself is the version God had and still has in mind before He even created you. It is not the version your parents or the media have sold to you. It isn’t even the version you yourself has crafted out, so please commune, fellowship and enjoy the presence of the One who’s created you, He knows best where each of us will flourish our best.

Also quit all these discussions that’ll lead you to arguing out valid differences rather than embracing and encouraging each other in the areas we’ll flourish best. These days I’ve become so sensitive to recognising conversations that argue differences rather than supporting each other.