Earlier this year I read an article that unfortunately rattled me up a bit, it was an article from an atheist on why she had left the faith despite growing up in the church. 

On any day, it wouldn’t faze me, but I think this one did because she seemed to have the foundational knowledge that anchors one in the faith, but how she had then began to ask certain questions that never got satisfactory answers, got me a little puzzled, despite believing all my life that “… He is able to keep me until that perfect day.” ~ 2 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬ 

So I wondered, “why wasn’t this precious soul kept?”

In my dilemma I shared the article with a few friends, including my brother and one of her questions in the article was that “if God gave us free will, why is torment an option for those who do not choose Him?”

I think it’s a popular question we get in the faith and I’ve seen scholarly theologians and clergy men simply explain it as an ‘action and consequence matter’. And while that holds a degree of truth, I think the focus on the persons action receiving consequence was emphasised beyond the true meaning of the torment in question.

And it is a popular doctrine in the faith, where people do right and align themselves in fear of eternal torment, and a picture of that torment in our hearts is of burning sulphur and brimstone, wails and tears.

While this accurately describes the torment of the lost soul from the Bible, my brother offered me an even more concrete view of torment which I think does more justice to the question beyond attributing it to the action of the person who has asked it. But before I share it, I’ll share a story that might bring the points closer to home.

Something happened back in university that scarred me deeply, it severed relationships, broke trust and ruined a whole community at soul level. Part of my healing from it was to block it completely from memory, cause each time I remembered, I felt deep regret for my own part in the whole ordeal. I had gone over too many “what ifs” over the years and I hated what it did to my heart. It kept me stuck in a time, hurt and just plain vengeful. When I turned to God in godly sorrow, the wisdom I received was to block it out and it worked. This was after I had worked through forgiving people I didn’t get apologies from.

The torment of the memory from university was enormous and impactful enough to destroy all future relationships and keep me cynical with people for the rest of my life. But the source of this torment was not from others, it was internal from myself, it was an enlarged version of the regret I kept feeling.

Now, the torment of rejecting Jesus is beyond the pitchforks of the devil and his demons, the torment men will feel when Jesus returns is the deeply rooted regret of having the opportunity to turn to Him and rejecting it.

From the experience described above, I can tell you that torment from within is much worse than any external torment , because when it is from inside, you cannot run from it, you’re daily faced with regret on all that could have been.

It is this torment that people need to know and understand first, before the physical inflictions we often focus on. 

Not in any way minimising the impact of that physical torture, but the torture of your soul in regret might even do more damage than the physical torture…. and for eternity!

Regret is one human emotion that words will never do justice to describing and that’s why we must be so proactive in spreading this gospel, and also letting people know that IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY that they have heard the gospel.

This mindset slowly spilled into my everyday life, I hate to regret foul actions, so I find I dont do them too, cause while no one might know or remember, my soul will.

I think there’s a sensitivity to our soul that grows with our faith, it could either be a blessing or not lol

As you think to that final day, while there’s joy in realising we will be united with Abba forever, the other joy is knowing our soul will be free of torment, but not because we aren’t tortured by demons, but because we have zero regrets of choosing Jesus!

May all men come to know this Jesus and be free from this eternal torment.