I recently got writing a scene in a book i’m currently writing where my protagonist got a call from someone she really didn’t want to talk to. And from her response to her phone ringing after she saw the call, you could just tell she really didn’t want to talk to him.

You would expect her to kind of hint him that she really didn’t want to talk or appreciate him calling so often, but the next thing we see is she picks the phone and ever so excitedly, she yells “Hi, Caleb”.

Sound familiar? haha

Well if you want to be sincere with yourself, it does.

I’ve been around my friends when they got calls they really didn’t want to take and instead of hinting the person that they did not want to talk, they put on a facade and make it seem like they had been expecting their call for forever.

I’m very guilty too, don’t get me wrong.

But as I wrote that part, I actually stopped to think. Why did this happen so often? why do we ladies have to mask up to speak to someone we really do not want too and end up prolonging something we knew didn’t even have a chance and so end up wasting and hurting someone else and ourselves in the process.

Part of being a FOCH woman is being very honest and transparent. No need for masks or facades. Not everyone will come across to you as someone you would want to date or go out with and that’s totally fine and normal. How you handle it is what matters.

Guys calling you back to back sometimes can get you very confused and sometimes, it may not be the best thing because 9 out of 10 times, you know for sure that some of them calling, you drag to pick up which honestly is not very fair.

We need to get truthful and at the same time polite so we don’t waste our time and that of the person involved.

I’m learning to always make sure i’m on the same page with people I talk too, particularly the guys and contrary to former me, I’m not afraid anymore of telling people that I do not see them in the same light as they may see me while being very polite about it.

At first, they may hate you, and that’s normal. no human being likes to be turned down, but they get over it and with time they appreciate you for being honest about it.

Which brings me to a conversation I had with a friend recently.

He told me of a girl he had been trying to date and after he confronted her with his intentions, she took a while to pray over it and got back to him saying she didn’t think she felt the same way. And I quote him, he said to me “she has really earned my respect, because she was plain and very honest with me”.

She also earned my respect on my end to be honest and I feel like it should be the same with all of us.

If someone is chatting you up constantly, and you are not interested. Like you’re sure about it, please let them know, especially when you know they are looking in a direction you yourself are not interested in. Don’t play them and lead them on and end up hurting someone.

Honesty is the best policy.