I know the title sounds crazy and is also very vague, like who exactly are the ‘we’.

I put it that way so I didn’t have people throwing tomatoes at me in their head before they actually got down to reading the post.

This morning, I woke up to a link to a periscope broadcast where they we’re discussing whether or not it was okay for a christian to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And if you know me very well, you probably would know that my first reaction after reading that title would be to close the window immediately, but for some reason, I stayed, and even watched till the last goodbye.

I am not very good with listening to the main point or aim of something, and It was a trait I noticed in myself at a very young age. Instead of what they we’re actually saying out, I would be hearing the implied meanings they were making or what they just were not saying. Combined with my exposure to psychological books, it worked pretty well for me.

So today, while they focused on addressing why or why not a christian should have a boyfriend or girlfriend, I was getting from both speakers that it was a man’s responsibility to go in search of a wife and not the other way around. As the scripture says, ‘He who finds a wife…‘  not  ‘She who finds a husband…’.

And quite frankly, biblically, there are a lot of things said in the bible that the simplicity of them usually makes us miss the magnitude of the meaning. Someone who does not actually meditate on the word would find it hard to believe it when someone says it is not in the place of a woman to seek a husband.

More often than not, I’ve seen this statement become a topic among the feminist community and a come back for men who are against the feminist movement.

Personally, from several examples in the bible, from the verse highlighted above, and several others, I am convinced beyond any doubt that it is not in my place to go after a man. It is not pride, neither is it me being complacent or lackadaisical about a relationship, it is just me doing it the way God would have me.

From this very simple understanding, I think it is more than fair to say that we females have it easier. Your work in this life is to focus on building the best you you can be. Nothing else. Build your yourself, build your brand, build your business, build your empire, while you await a divinely approved person to come and complement and make better what you already have.

Amidst our small small struggles, if you want to be honest, the guy has the bulk of the work, if and only if he does it right.

So, dear FOCH woman, to borrow from one of the speakers this morning, Live your life! Focus on  building yourself with your spiritual life as a priority because with that in place, best believe your set.

Shout out to the women doing amazing ground breaking things. You inspire us!.