I woke up today remembering that it is another one of my long day.
I think it is a mental thing I’ve done to myself but it is now a norm for time on Tuesday to appear to be a lot slower than normal. I’ve not been able to understand it fully but I notice that every Tuesday, when I look down expecting to see a time, I always see an hour or 2 hours before that time, and to be honest, it’s not much of a shock anymore.
Monday’s appear to be my fastest day and Tuesday’s, my slowest.
It is expected and very possible for me to begin to dread every Tuesday. Like waking up every Tuesday morning and going like ‘aaarrrggghhhhh, another Tuesday, another long day’ but when I wake up every Tuesday morning and remember ‘Oh, Rubie it’s our longest day’, I get up and do what i’d normally do on a Monday or any other day.
Today, I quizzed myself about this and I wondered why it didn’t bug me that it was a Tuesday each time I woke up on a Tuesday morning.
I realized that no matter how long a Tuesday lasted, it always, always came to an end. Like, even if I looked at the time expecting to see 4pm and I saw 12noon, I might be pissed but i’m reminded that no matter how it drags, it will end.
I don’t know why it was this period that this realization hit me, but as it came, I remembered all the stories I’ve heard in the last week about all the people who decided it was time to leave the world by themselves due to one reason or the other.
Added to that, I watched about 10 minutes of ’13 Reasons why’ as I waited for my friend yesterday and saw how this beautiful teen girl created 13 videos of the 13 reasons why she took her life.
As I listened to the 13 reasons why she did what she did, with her counselor being the 13th reason (LOL), I realized that none of the reasons were permanent. None of them was going to last forever, in a nutshell, she would have left high school from the people bullying her, healed physically and mentally from the rape she’d been through, got a job and left her uncaring parents and found friends who appreciated her for who she was.
This is not me being insensitive or undermining the gravity of what she felt. To be honest, I don’t even know what she felt because pain is like our finger print. No one truly knows where or how it huts. But my point is how neither of the reasons were permanent.
Same way my Tuesday will always come, but cannot stay forever, no matter how long it drags.
It is a theory that we all have to intentionally learn that ‘Nothing lasts forever’. Particularly on the negative side. Things always get better, and even when they don’t, we get better at handling these things.
Think of all the things you want to end this minute. If you critically look at them, neither of them will be forever. One day, it will end, and guess what? You’ll probably still have a new list then.
I want Tuesday’s every week to remind you that though it may last, it will end.
My heart goes out to all the people currently going through anything that just you know about.
Here’s something my dad said to me.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Feel free to ‘reach’ out too to talk. Just maybe you’ll feel better.