I couldn’t have chosen a better generation to be born into to be honest, I love how I look back and see all the flaws of our Parents generation, how we’ve managed to find solutions to them and become more vocal as well on issues, and I also look into the generation of our children and frankly, i’m gripped with fear seeing how we’re unintentionally nurturing spaces to support levels of unruliness and arrogance all in the name of being vocal and speaking your mind. So in my head, it is kinda like 2 extremes and then us, here in the middle, balancing it all out! (Gather in here for a group selfie if you really feel the same way about our generation!).
However, that we are the middle-men balancing it all out has not left us without the flaws and downsides to this generation, so we’ll do ourselves some good to address these flaws when they pop up and adjust them in order to stop it from being worse with future generations.
This post is inspired by a conversation I had recently with a friend, he was convinced I did not want to talk to him anymore and that I had changed towards him because we hadn’t spoken in a while, but I was not trying to be defensive to start saying how ‘life is busy’, or how ‘everyone is just occupied with work’ or anything else of that sort, so I just apologised and carried on normally, but I realised how this is slowly becoming a trend with most people, getting mad or uncomfortable that you don’t talk with someone the way you use to talk to them before and just making conclusions that friendship wouldn’t work cause of that.
We might all be able to testify of an excitement that comes when we start talking to someone who gets us, like just conversing with someone who you seem to have a lot of similar interests with, this is normal and it is natural. As time goes on, it is also normal and natural that the excitement changes, not that it dwindles, it is just not the temporary excitement of the new possibility of the friendship at the beginning but excitement of just having the person as a friend, and if you ask married people, I think they explain it best. How the dating phase is not the same as marriage, not that it is worse or better, but the excitement that comes in the suspense and the potential that they just see at the dating phase isn’t the same in marriage cause there isn’t that suspense anymore, it becomes excitement in another way.
Our generation wants to keep the initial excitement at inception of something till the end of the thing, they don’t want to imagine that anything could or should change that excitement and so when the initial excitement is overshadowed by the new source of excitement, rather than embracing it, we pick it up as a red flag and look at it as a problem rather than a blessing that it could be. It happens with ideas too, people are so excited when new ideas come but as execution gets into full swing, because the first excitement isn’t there, they begin to question the ideas and motivations.
I told my friend that the same principle is also seen in our natural world. The oceans don’t always flow the same way, the flow sometimes is dependent on external factors, but never the content of the water. No flow is better than the other because the content remains the same really, just newness of flow every now and then.
When there are changes in our relationships, both Eros and friendships, I think we need to be more understanding and sensitive to the changes and not just interpret it as something bad, not in any way neglecting the fact that there really might be other issues surrounding someones withdrawal, but so long as there hasn’t been any change in the content of your thoughts towards someone, don’t use the flow of the relationship to judge it in it’s entirety. Recognise the phases and trust the flow.