A few days ago, I went for an older friends birthday party, she recently got married earlier on in the summer and funny thing is that she is among the last in her friendship group to get married so imagine what this party was like, everybody coming in with their spouses, all cuddles and mushy, discussing events of their day together. There were about 5 couples and then 4 people who walked in alone. lol
At first it seemed okay, until we got into games and husbands were holding wives, holding hands or just bantering together with their wives, it was such a beautiful sight to behold to say the least. I met majority of them for the first time that day but the other 4 people in their circle yet to marry were probably used to this life, appearing in gatherings with them and being the lone wolfs seeing as most of them were married.
When I got home, I got thinking about the entire night and I had a lot of flashbacks to the occurrences of the evening and most of them made me chuckle hard. I also imagined how the unmarried ones in their circle felt, because it suddenly felt so strange being in such a gathering without ‘your own partner’.
It occurred to me how pressure sometimes comes in our environments, very unintentionally. It is why we always need to secure ourselves beyond the things of this world, including possessions and relationships.
Pressures most time are borne from our insecurities and desires, we need to deal with these things to free ourselves from being pressured by them even when our environments expose us to them unintentionally.
So I’ve written up 5 ways to deal with pressures when they come;
- Anchor yourself in God
The world is too fleeting and volatile for us to anchor ourselves in it, we should never be defined by our possessions or our connections. Even if we have the privilege to access these things, we should refuse to allow them master us. (Luke12:15)
2. Master contentment
It is easy to identify the things we are not content with, our insecurities give us this indication. Once you notice you’re insecure in an area, its a call to work in that area till you master contentment in it.
I used to be so insecure about the fact that I was born without eyebrows, especially as I entered teenage-hood. So when I became intentional about dealing with insecurities, I remember saying to myself that I was going to go out for about a month without doing my brows, anyone who noticed and talked about it, I would tell them exactly how it came to be, being that I was born without them and they never grew and I’ll tell them how special it makes me too, being the girl born without brows.
This resolution in my heart had the insecurity gone in no time because I became so comfortable with it and I loved that it gave me something to talk about with people. It’s not everyday you meet a girl born without brows.
3. Sometimes distance is required
With the situation I described above with the party and the couples, if a single in their friendship group decided to skip certain hangouts because they knew they will feel pressured if they attend, I see nothing wrong with that, there are somethings that we will need to deal with in ways that majority of people will not understand.
If hanging around a certain person always dampens you, or if being somewhere makes you jealous and not content, it’s okay to stay away till you settle it within yourself, sometimes these things take time, so be willing to take that time.
4. Pray for the things that make you feel pressured
Maybe I should say ‘talk to God about the things that make you feel pressured’. God is not just there for our needs, He’s there for conversations and discussions, He wants to know what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. Don’t limit your relationship with God. Conversations with Him opens you to see things from His perspective which always clears doubts.
5. Admit your insecurities and the things that pressure you
It’s okay to admit that you feel pressured by certain things, to yourself and also to people you trust around you. It does not make you an ungrateful or wicked person, it just reminds us that you’re human. The first step to any healing is identification and acknowledgement. Don’t go around denying it while it eats you up. Admit it and go on to outline what you need to do to overcome that pressure or insecurity.
Ultimately, see yourself through the eyes of God. Your life in God has a purpose and has a timing, when we understand this, we won’t desire to rush into seasons or accomplish purposes that have not been assigned to us.
There’s honestly no pressure xx