A letter from Abba:

Dear Leah,

I know you thought the promotion will bring some respite, I know you imagined that the marriage will bring you some respect, or the admission even, I also imagine that you thought that the 3 days of prayer and fasting you declared will bring that answer you’ve been praying to me for.

I guess you were left disappointed, or even angry when neither of what you expected came after you did all you thought you needed to do. Leah felt the exact same way, after she had 3 boys for her husband and he still wouldn’t even look at her with half the admiration he gave to Rachel who was still childless.

This method would’ve been fine if I was a service, one where you pay me something to receive something.
When we talk of spiritual growth coming at a cost, it is not one influenced by a business or market system, it is one borne from pure zeal and desire to see my kingdom come on earth.

I need you to quit walking with me like I’m a vending machine that will dispense your selected product when you’ve entered money. I need you to not see me as a genie that you can rub and make wishes to.

I hope you’ll begin to see our relationship as one where 2 lovers exist and do not withhold any good thing from the other.

The next big thing in your life will not make me love you any lesser or greater. I don’t give and take away brownie points on your daily life. It’s not a business.

I want you to remember that you’re enough. You don’t need anything to validate yourself in me. You don’t need to be or do something to get my attention.
Jesus did all that you could’ve never done to get and keep my attention on you. So the next time you feel like you must do something to get my attention, remind yourself that I’m a prayer/conversation away and not an achievement away. Walk, step by step with me.

There’s rest in me, I need you to accept that rest and walk in me, quit striving for what I’ve already named yours.