I saw early on that one of the weaknesses of my personality independently, is the need to understand everything, especially if it has logical elements, I always feel a need to understand why certain decisions were made up to the final stage. In submitting to the Holy Spirit (which is still in process), I saw He began to change this, He started teaching me that “sometimes, there won’t be sufficient explanation or logic behind something, but I still need to obey or comply as the case might be”.
My brain still interprets this as violation sometimes, but most times, if I sense the lead of the Holy Spirit to Just let it be, I ignore even myself and trust that even without me understanding it all, God will be God.
It’s part of that breaking process, part of God saving you from your own self so that you’re totally surrendered because in a pursuit of understanding something one day, I might be going against the plan or desire of the Spirit of God and in such a time, what it means is me standing in opposition to God which is somewhere I never want to get to.
So these days, when things I don’t fully get come around and I so badly want to understand it completely and I hear the nudge or words of Holy Spirit within me, I refrain, it’s so painful and uncomfortable but with each lesson, it gets easier.
God is breaking my so called personality to one totally yielded to Him.
And that’s same for each and everyone of us, for some, he might be pushing you to even ask more questions, while for others like me, were being pruned to not ask all questions till We completely understand.
Check out the last Moments of truth post.