There was a post scheduled to go out on Valentine’s Day this year, but it never got out, I can’t remember why but looking at it now, I think I refrained from sending it out because I was more interested in people feeling loved than regretting their past love on that day.

I had tagged it “10 reasons why the love failed”, but reviewing it now, I think a better and honest way to have it is “10 reasons why your Relationship failed”. Just cause, love never fails. I think it is still so relevant to loads of young people out here, so please stay engaged. The list isn’t inexhaustible so please feel free to add to it if you feel I have missed something out.

So just maybe a relationship ended and you still have no idea why it did, here’s 10 possible reasons why it failed.

1. It was not love, never love actually. If love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8), and Christ’s love for us will never fail, a love from a lover like Christ will not fail either. This is a hard truth to settle, but always remember that love never fails

2. You or them got too comfortable. Stopped “chasing” each other, settled in “He’s/She’s mine now”. Someone realised they deserved better and moved on. A lovely book I read on marriage said that “married couples should forever remain dating themselves”, the author meant, they should constantly seek to outdo each other in loving themselves. Don’t get complacent

3. There was fear in some sort. The fear could have looked like mistrust, fear of the future or maybe just fear of seeing the person angry. If perfect love casts away fear (1 John 4:18), a relationship full of fear was bound to fail

4. Someone found themselves constantly having to change to accommodate the other. It is important to keep evolving to better versions of ourselves, but it is controlling and repulsive for people to try to shape you into the version of you in their heads. When you change because of someone, it is difficult to sustain that change, hence why a relationship will fail

5. From the start, someone was begging to be loved. The love didn’t come naturally or fully. If you need to beg a person to love you, that love will fail one day

6. You don’t love yourself. Sad reality, but relationships fail when one person involved doesn’t even love their self, what happens is you will constantly be looking to the other partner to give you self love that can and should come from yourself. When it becomes too burdensome, someone walks away, yielding a failed relationship

7. Love and Lust may have been synonymous to you, which is why you’d break up with someone for refusing to sleep with you. The requests placed on us by significant others reveals their hearts. When you see that their “love” is really lust, the relationship is bound to fail

8. You deliberately ignored all the red flags from the start. We make excuses for people when we like them, so we said yes to them in hopes they will change, and it took the relationship failing to realise that you can’t change a person who doesn’t decide to change by themself

9. Your idea of love is cuddles, “I love you” texts and butterflies in your tummy. When you don’t see these, you walk away because you refuse to accept that someone in a relationship with you is not asking for your body. Kinda the opposite of No. 7

10. You want love that you yourself don’t give. Relationships fail when we expect what we don’t and can’t give. You need to give the love you want to receive. If you want love like Christs’, you’ll need to give love like Christs‘

These made my top 10 reasons why relationships fail. Because I’m a very optimistic person, I’ll follow this post with “10 reasons why your relationship will win”

But, I want to know more, if you’re happy to share, why do you think your past relationship(s) failed ?