Honestly, some people just need to be given room to grow. You as well, need to be given room to grow. People fear growth sometimes, particularly mentally because they don’t want to be seen as inconsistent and double-minded. But they are actually two different things because we are actually expected to grow and evolve as we encounter new levels of knowledge.
I recently saw a friend of mine with long coloured braids! She looked yummy in them! I mean, nothing special here, people have braids on everyday. But my mind quickly went back to a few years ago when I visited her house with my long black braids.
I remember her dad came in while we cooked in the kitchen and after several questions to know more about me, he changed gear to my hair and why I decided to have such “artificial hair on my head”, he attempted drawing lines to relate it with religion and left a few hints here and there as to why it’s unacceptable for me to have hair like that on my head when I am a Christian, but I had encountered people like that before and I knew well to always just smile back and get them to understand in the simplest language that man made rules cannot be exalted to Gods word and while it is fine to decide something for yourself, it is unfair to impose it on others, particularly when it is obviously your preference.
I mean, I didn’t say all this to him but these were my thoughts behind my giggles and “okay, Thank you”.
My friend and I laughed it off, she knew her dads religious background and so she had to be raised that way, well, this was her dad right!?! She didn’t exactly have a choice.
When I saw her picture with the lush braids, the entire moment came back to memory and I had a little smile creep up and I heard a whisper in my heart; “we’re all allowed to grow”. And that’s true, in our thinking, words and actions, growth is permitted and expected.
Don’t get scared or held back because of what people will say if you change your mind. We are allowed to change our minds, especially when it is making us better people. It was an opportunity to lash out on my friend and her dad saying “oh wow, the religious mans daughter now has the sacrilege on her head” lol, but Nahh.
Inconsistency and double standards mean that you expect from others what you yourself don’t do, or you criticise others for something you do on another level.
What differentiates genuine growth and inconsistency is time! So just be patient with yourself and your new growth, every other person will come around with time. Don’t let the naysayers stop you from flourishing.
We’re allowed to grow for the better and make no apologies for it.