My most frequent and favourite question I get these days is “how has marriage been?”
While I feel no pressure to respond to this question, I recognise that I get to be a placard and advocate for healthy Christian marriages in the large pool of horrendous news on what has become of marriages today.
So even though I first feel a deep urge to dismiss it with a summarised “it’s been beautiful”, I almost always simultaneously feel a need to give a bit more context and paint a true picture that gives the person much more to think and weigh for their own lives.
There’s been two beautiful revelations of marriage since walking in;
The first has been the daily opportunity to replicate heaven in my home and rehearse Abba and me, but this time with a physical husband. I can’t tell you how often this thought comes to my head and how mind blown I am every time I meditate on it.
I’ve seen that marriage brings us to make practical our daily walk with Abba and think of eternity more deeply and accurately, asking ourselves how ready we are to be in physical union with the lover of our souls.
This has been the most constant and liberating realisation of marriage for me, and despite knowing it before entering marriage, the reality of living it out comes close to nothing that I can reference.
The second could appear bad at first, but is actually so beautiful. It’s been the reality of my humanity, especially my flaws and blemishes. There’s the one person that gets to see it all and for someone like me who constantly always had people say good stuff to & about them, it was weird at first but the Holy Spirit has told me countless times how happy He is that I’m here (in marriage), cause He gets to reveal even more things to me through my husband that I never was aware of since living life for the number of years I’ve been on earth for.
The reason why I believe that marriage (for anyone who chooses to marry) is the finest instrument that will help mould a person to the very image of God is because of the vulnerability and intimacy required in this union. It’s one too open for anything to be hidden, just as we are before God. And with that height of vulnerability and intimacy, there’s deeper and more accurate revelations; of both good and bad things.
I’ve seen my heart and character a lot clearer in marriage, I’ve thought deeper about my convictions, I’ve known God more and understood His love even better just by being made one with this human I’ve been privileged to call husband.
All of it is beautiful in such a solemn and sacred way and I said to my brother in law recently that while I respect peoples choices to decide whether or not to marry in this lifetime, I strongly believe that everyone should have an opportunity to experience this.
The contributory making-process of marriage to conforming us to the image of God is unlike anything I’ve ever known or experienced but it makes me so happy, because each day I look more like Abba.
I love how humble marriage is making me, how much it’s growing my heart in such a little time, and I’m excited for the coming time; because I know it’s more pruning and moulding ahead; until I’m conformed to the image of Jesus.
I see why John piper said in This momentary marriage that “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives”. He later concludes the chapter saying “Marriage is about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way He relates to His people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel”.
Marriage has been a revelatory and microscopic lens for me; I’ve seen Jesus bigger and clearer and understood Him deeper just by being in this office of wife.
So when next someone asks me how marriage has been, I get to answer “it’s been beautiful”, and then share this with them.
2 thoughts on “My million dollar question”
Thankyou for not dismissing the question 🥰
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Thanks for reading and engaging love x